Wednesday, February 22, 2006

Books, like knowledge, are good.

I shall now talk about Love Is Irregular. And it will never end, until this shameless book promotion annoys even myself. And you say, who cares about a book? But you'll obsess over Dane Cook and random local bands from independent labels so you'll appear trendy and knowledgeable about music and hot comedians, oh I understand.

But think of it this way: you don't know Dane Cook, but you know me, and I know Christine Chung, who wrote the book. And Cook rhymes with book, so it just makes no sense to not talk about the book, right? Right.

Of course, Dane Cook is very attractive and very hip right now. And yeah yeah yeah, you/your friend/sister/cousin's boyfriend are/is in a band. Big deal, who isn't? Bands are everywhere, and ones I don't care about are shoving myspace messages at me every day.

I'm sick of bands.

I'm sorry that you have to sit in your room and write mediocre songs on your guitar, but lets face it, you're no Hendrix or Page or Clapton. Congrats on your ability to play the riff from "Smoke on the Water" and all the songs from Coldplay, though, and I know you privately practice Bon Jovi, don't even try to hide it. Not that I have anything against Deep Purple/Coldplay/Bon Jovi. If I could play the guitar I would probably just play "Wanted Dead Or Alive" over and over and over again, because I'm pathetic and I have a clandestine loooooove for Bon Jovi (is this bad?).

That is neither here nor there.

Of course I am not entirely annoyed with bands. Music is excellent. I'm a huge fan of music in general. Hooray for relentlessly playing the same three chords, I'm proud of you/your friend/sister/cousin's boyfriend. It takes a great amount of skill, whether that skill is music ability/singing/lyricwriting/being able to get up in front of an audience and make a jackass out of yourself. Keep it up, and good luck with your musical endeavors, and I hope you have multiple hits on college radio.

I am trying to make a point here, and that point is this: Books are good. Check out Love Is Irregular. Read something other than The Da Vinci Code and the book by that guy that Oprah doesn't like anymore. I'm giving you a hipster Proto-Pop goldmine, here.

The Proto-Pop, in case you are unaware (and I'm sure you are, since it's a term I use in my head) are those cool, voguish people who like things before they're popular.

You know those people that liked Modest Mouse six years ago, before they got radio play? The ones that were all like, "Oh, Float On is okay, but their earlier stuff was waaaaay better." Your Proto-Pop status can be akin to theirs.

Or those people that watched Welcome to the Dollhouse before they saw Napoleon Dynamite, rather than because they did? The kind of douchey ones who would say, "Yeah, Napoleon was good, but it wasn't dark enough. I prefer Todd Solondz."

Your Proto-Pop status can be akin to theirs.

See, by getting familiar with Love Is Irregular before it's published, you already have a head start. Then when you buy the book and read it, you can tell everyone about it. You will be Proto-Pop. I am handing you the keys to the gates of the Proto-Pop Literature Elite.

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