Wednesday, January 24, 2007


Random shit of today:

1. There was a guy on the blue line who had six fingers. Per hand. A la Count Rugen. He even had special gloves that he put on after he got out into the cold. I trailed him for half a block. I was fascinated.

2. Then I had to turn around and head towards work. I am now late after shadowing the six-fingered man. On my way, about five minutes later, this like forty-year old gray-haired businessy guy in a gray coat with a popped collar puts his hand lightly on my shoulder while we're waiting to cross the street and starts talking to me.

This was our conversation:

It's you, isn't it?

(awkwardly smiling back out of sheer confusion)
I'm sorry, what?

It is you. I thought you would be here.

(we have moved on to awkwardly giggling)
I really do not have time for this.

No, no, really. I'm sorry. It's just that, I mean, I thought I would meet you today and here you are.

(no words for the first time in my life.)

(the crossing guard gives us the go ahead. thank God.)

(pointing at himself)

(seriously, is fucking everyone in the fucking world named Steve?)

(walking quickly)


(keeping up with me)

This is kind of cool, isn't it?

Dude, I'm not gonna lie, but you're completely freaking me out.

Oh. Well, I'm sorry then.

And then he just carried on and kept walking, silent and ignoring me (because we are strangers, and that is what strangers do, Crazy) as if we had not just had the oddest conversation of my life. He didn't explain himself, he didn't bother me, he didn't take anything from my purse or my pockets. I have no idea who the hell this guy was. Just a very nondescript gray guy. Named Steve.

Why do people find me and behave as if we're long lost pals? Like that woman I waited on at Gino's who told me that she wanted to be my mentor. I know we talked about sociopolitical change and sustainability, and then she got all astrological on me and wanted to read my charts and teach me how to meditate because she felt that if I could focus my energy I could change the world, and she could show me how, but she couldn't change the world herself because she did too much meth in the seventies and tried to kill herself three times, and it wasn't until she divorced her abusive husband, found astrology, and gave up "taking lovers" that she realized her fate was to lead others who were lost into the light of their intrinsic greatness. That's me.

Or something like that. She was basically psycho. It boosted my ego for a good fifteen minutes, which I did kind of need at the time.


paperback reader said...

I'm always suspicious of anyone who shows any kind of interest in me. Then again, they're regular folk compared to the type you keep attracting, apparently.

Rassles said...

I think it's because I'll talk to anyone. They know I'll pay attention to whatever they say. But what they don't know, is I do it just in case they're crazy. So I can blog about it.