Friday, August 4, 2006

Flips Magee and the Cup Killers

Some of you may not be aware of this, but it appears I'm famous. I have a fan club wherever I go. Granted, who can resist my enchanting charisma and overwhelming sexual allure? No one, of course. We are all aware of this. I was actually thinking about carrying around signed autographs the next time I left the house.

But it seems that not only do I have the power to seduce a crowd, but my flippy cup team does as well, and on a much more impressive scale. Although we didnt win the tournament on Wednesday, we finished third out of forty-four teams. Which basically means we are The Shiz.

If you were at the tournament, you would understand what I mean. We brought about fifteen cheerleaders with us (band aids, if you will), and by the end of the night we had a cult following. McFaddens in its entirety worshiped us, and cheered when we won, and started chanting Buuulll-shit when we lost. They were standing on chairs to view our games, sweet-talking the referees into our favor, pouring High Life directly down our throats.

And we fucking ate it up. We put on a show for them. We chanted, danced, whipped them into a fucking frenzy. It was nothing short of amazing. Everyone was on our side. Teams we completely dominated were following us around and became our number one fans. They did all the shit-talking for us.

The team that finally beat us, however, would have deserved that praise. It was an older team of suited lawyers, five incredible one-flippers. Their beers were gone before their cups reached their lips, and their flipping skills were effortless. They sailed through each game in about twenty seconds, and I could barely fucking stand, let alone function. It was almost intimidating. They were amazing, and beat the crap out of us.

* Speaking of crap, one of our players later developed an extreme case of constipation. Literally. Could not walk or move. Went to the doctor this morning and had to consume an insane amount of laxatives. It's funny.


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