Friday, April 25, 2008

Shiny toilets, shiny reviews.

First order of business:

I never considered myself a "blogger" until somebody called me one mid-insult.

It was a relevatory thing. "Am I really a blogger? Oh shit. I totally am."

So I decided to have my blog reviewed, just to see if it was worth it to have an actual blog rather than just typing thoughts on myspace.

And here it is.

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I did not think they were actually going to write a review, just because of the fact that I write on Myspace. Believe me, I hate the Space too (and I love it. I have this horrible, sadistic relationship with the Space. It doesn't matter how much I yell or slap it around, it always comes back loving me. So thank you, Tom, and next time somebody asks, tell them you "fell down some stairs.")

And they gave me what I consider to be the two most covetted awards. It's very exciting.

But if there's one thing they should do, is read the older posts...I've been doing this shit for two years. Oh, I'll have to tell them.

I think I will follow their advice, since I've been toying with it for awhile. I'll keep you posted.

Second order of business:

This morning, after drinking my coffee and going to the freshly cleaned bathroom, I realized something:

It is one of the most satisfying feelings in the world when I step into a public bathroom and all of the toilets are virginal and gleaming and white, seats vertical and polished. I am victorious. It's like I have a porcelain harem, and I get to choose into which glossy whore I will defecate today. No matter what, it will be her first time.

Because they're clean.

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