Wednesday, July 9, 2008


Dear Friends,

Thinking this now: I need to stop obsessing over Tarot cards. It's getting very unfortunate. Every ten seconds I'm all, "and you should listen to me, because I'm psychic and a messenger and transdimensional." Granted, it's said in complete jest, since I don't believe it, but inevitably it will get old.

Here's the most unfortunate aspect of the entire Tarot reading: I love talking about it. Love. It makes me feel good about myself, thinking that there is one person in the world (Lady mf Caitlyn) who believes in me. Not that no one else does, but it's just nice hearing fun things about yourself, and whether they're true or not is irrelevant. It's comforting knowing that someone took the time to think about me, and actually hearing about it.

I like being contemplated, and if said contemplation leads to complimentation, more power to it, but if not it does not matter. I just like it. Makes me feel important, somehow. More important than some Tarot card reader at a Renaissance Fair telling me I'm important. It's just that...for twenty minutes of her life, she focused on mine.

It wasn't like when you try talking to someone and they spend the whole time relaying their personal experience instead of talking about yours.

But then, I paid her to talk about me. I want to pay more people to talk about me.

I am very self-centered.

Would anyone like to donate to the Rossi Talks To Psychics fund?

Better idea: I'm giving homework. Everyone go get their cards read, so we can all compare notes. Just take your bar cash and blow it on a wad of Tarot. Even if you don't believe in it, it's like, best ego booster ever. If the reader is wrong, fuck 'em, hilarity is king. If the reader is right, then we've found ourselves a psychic, and must promote their supernatural abilities a la Miss Cleo and Sonya Fitzpatrick. Seriously.



Cc: Lady Caitlyn, Miss Cleo, Sonya Fitzpatrick



Anonymous said...

Well, it won't be my bar money. More like "Pay-the-mortgage-or we're-getting-foreclosed" money. But for you, I'll do it. I agree; the notion that someone is contemplating me (even if i have to pay for it) seems almost more restorative than a massage.

Rassles said... I need a massage.

Suggestions have power over me. Perhaps this is because of my open psychic energy.

Gypsy said...

My luck, I'd go and be told something horrendous, like I'm going to have five kids.

Rassles said...

That's when you say fuck it, tie your tubes, and stick it to the psychics.

Trouble said...

Don't go there. You'll never leave.

Rassles said...


Leave and never come back.

Rassles said...

Okay, that website is bullshit. The cards are purposely generated to give as vague a response as possible.

And not once did it tell me I was transdimensional.

I call shenanigans.