Today I came to work a little "drunk."
I think I may have "annoyed" my co-workers.
Perhaps this is partially due to my strong desire to use "quotes." If I was speaking out "loud," I would have used "airquotes," and wiggled my fore-and-middle-fingers "thusly":
Bah. I really wanted to find a funny video on youtube that deals with airquotes, but none of them could hack it.
I didn't realize I was drunk at first, bloody mary didn't even fucking hit me until I tried to change my clothes in the bathroom at the office and realized that I couldn't properly button a shirt.
This was a huge revelation, considering none of my shirts have buttons today.
Still, having the morning off is the shit, and what better way to celebrate a morning off than tomatoey-pepperoncini-olivey-Worcestershirey-vodka goodness?
So golf outing be damned, today will be quote accomplish nothing day endquote. And tonight I'm pretty sure I'm going to watch Die Hard.