As some of you know, and some of you don't, I don't have any tattoos*. This is not because of some disdain towards them or because I never wanted one before, it's because, well, if I'm getting a fucking tattoo, I need it to be indisputably mine.
I have originality and ownership issues.
Eventually I realized what I needed. I used to draw cartoon strips for my friends in high school. Kind of. Well, I drew them for CrazyLiz, and she would show them to people and map them out and tell them about how I was crazy. One of these little cartoons was of exactly what I knew best. My dog. It kind of became a signature sketch, and has adapted between dogs.
I've been sitting on it for like, five years. Not out of fear, but funding.
So after the Ben Folds concert on Friday, I rode my bike home at midnight, busted into the apartment and proceeded to throw my keys at MoLinder's face so she'd wake up and go over to Adam's with me for his birthday.
Little did I know that MoLinder has crazy speedy Ferret Reflexes.
She caught my keys in mid air, while sleeping, and growled, "Instinct, bitch."
"Ha. Nice--OWWWW, fuck." She threw them back at me, hard. I do not have her speed. "Get the fuck up. Oww. We're going to Adam's."
"Bah. No. Murmurmurmur."
"Come on, I'm making a pot of coffee. Let's go."
"It's fucking 12:45."
"Yeah, and you're in bed like a pussy when there's important birthdays going on."
"Uggggh. What do they have that is better than bed?"
So I make some coffee while she gets ready, and at 1:15 AM we get in the car and drive out to the suburbs for Adam's birthday of fun. Debbie, Adam's girlfriend, is amazing. She's a cake decorator, bondsman, and tattoo artist. In fact, recently she started giving tattoos out of the apartment, as her own personal business.
"Ross, when am I giving you your tattoo?"
"I don't care, man, whenever."
"Do you still want the same one? The one of Rusty?"
"Yeah, I've wanted it for years. I've been thinking about this white tattoo, too, but I don't know."
"Well, whenever you want it, I'm ready. No charge."
"Really you sure?"
"Of course not, I don't charge my friends. We could even do it now."
"We can?" I'm giddy.
"Yeah, of course, I'm totally ready."
"Fuck yeah, then. Let's do it."
MoLinder was all giddy about it too, and ended up getting one right after me (but she's already got a couple of them).
* At 2:30 AM on Saturday, October 11, 2008, I got a tattoo. It's about fucking time, right? I think I'm one of the last people to get one. I always was a late bloomer.
Last week was like, a week of free bad ass shit.