Tuesday, October 14, 2008

I Have Originality Issues. And a Tattoo.

As some of you know, and some of you don't, I don't have any tattoos*. This is not because of some disdain towards them or because I never wanted one before, it's because, well, if I'm getting a fucking tattoo, I need it to be indisputably mine.

I have originality and ownership issues.

Eventually I realized what I needed. I used to draw cartoon strips for my friends in high school. Kind of. Well, I drew them for CrazyLiz, and she would show them to people and map them out and tell them about how I was crazy. One of these little cartoons was of exactly what I knew best. My dog. It kind of became a signature sketch, and has adapted between dogs.

I've been sitting on it for like, five years. Not out of fear, but funding.

So after the Ben Folds concert on Friday, I rode my bike home at midnight, busted into the apartment and proceeded to throw my keys at MoLinder's face so she'd wake up and go over to Adam's with me for his birthday.

Little did I know that MoLinder has crazy speedy Ferret Reflexes.

She caught my keys in mid air, while sleeping, and growled, "Instinct, bitch."

"Ha. Nice--OWWWW, fuck." She threw them back at me, hard. I do not have her speed. "Get the fuck up. Oww. We're going to Adam's."

"Bah. No. Murmurmurmur."

"Come on, I'm making a pot of coffee. Let's go."

"It's fucking 12:45."
"Yeah, and you're in bed like a pussy when there's important birthdays going on."

"Uggggh. What do they have that is better than bed?"

"Rock Band."

"I'm up."

So I make some coffee while she gets ready, and at 1:15 AM we get in the car and drive out to the suburbs for Adam's birthday of fun. Debbie, Adam's girlfriend, is amazing. She's a cake decorator, bondsman, and tattoo artist. In fact, recently she started giving tattoos out of the apartment, as her own personal business.

"Ross, when am I giving you your tattoo?"

"I don't care, man, whenever."

"Do you still want the same one? The one of Rusty?"

"Yeah, I've wanted it for years. I've been thinking about this white tattoo, too, but I don't know."

"Well, whenever you want it, I'm ready. No charge."

"Really you sure?"

"Of course not, I don't charge my friends. We could even do it now."

"We can?" I'm giddy.

"Yeah, of course, I'm totally ready."

"Fuck yeah, then. Let's do it."

MoLinder was all giddy about it too, and ended up getting one right after me (but she's already got a couple of them).

* At 2:30 AM on Saturday, October 11, 2008, I got a tattoo. It's about fucking time, right? I think I'm one of the last people to get one. I always was a late bloomer.

Last week was like, a week of free bad ass shit.



Mister Crowley said...

Dude. MoLinder sounds like a female version of me. That's exactly what I'd have done if you'd thrown a bunch of keys at me when I was half-asleep :D

And tattoos are addictive. I got my first one back in Feb, and I can't wait to get one or 2 more. Still trying to come up with some neat design (my first was my own design)...

Bluestreak said...

I require photographic proof.

Anonymous said...

show me

Rassles said...

Not yet. Little scabby.

Rassles said...

I just know that I'm the last person in the world to get one. It's almost embarrassing. Or at least, it would be if I got embarrassed.

And Crow: exactly. Own design. I don't care if other people don't have their own design, but I have this complex: Gotta be an original.

Mister Crowley said...

Raz: Well, to be honest. If I really like the design, then I don't mind getting a tat designed by someone else :) The one I have is an original, because I wasn't carrying the design I wanted on me at the time :)

No Itchy and Scratchy show please, them scabs are a bitch :) For more unsolicited advice on tattoo care, please visit:


formerly fun said...

show us the pooch

Ellie Maybe said...

I wanna see a picture, wench.

I've only gotten tattoos that are drawn by artists I know... and specifically for me. With the exception of the two Simpsons tattoos (one which will eventually be partially removed and covered, because it was a REALLY stupid drunken decision... though I *love* the other one) and the bike lane tattoo... but that's such a huge part of my persona that it counts.

Next time I see you we should introduce our dogs! I've got Mingus AND Fred for your Rusty to meet. :) One day soon, a giant Shiksefish will be covering the majority of my right arm... I just gotta get on my friend to draw it, but he's all "oooh I'm an animator for Metalocalypse now and I don't have free time." BOO.

Anonymous said...

Be jealous...be very jealous. Ben Folds lives near me. The local indie rock station plays him(WRLT). If I hung out in trendy coffee houses, I'd see him there.

Rassles said...

Ok, people.

Here you go.

It's from my phone, and therefore shitty picture. But that's the best I can do right now.

I wanted brown, because for some reason I'm anti-black. Fucking racist self. It's on the inside of my forearm. Cute little guy.

Crow: All advice is unsolicited. And thank you.

Blue, Nurse, FF: There you go. Whores.

Eli: I would love for Rusty to make friends, but he lives with my parents. He needs a fenced yard. I plan on stealing him for a weekend though, and then, YAY.

Franklin: BOOOOOOOOO. Become one of those trendy coffee shop people, and then tell him about me.

Mister Crowley said...

Woof. Neato :D

Welcome to the club ;)

Anonymous said...

way cool indeed. love the brown.

Bluestreak said...

see it´s poochie nature.

Lovely, welcome to the world of having a tattoo. You´re lucky you waited this long, I got mine right when I turned 18 and now it looks like it´s a hundred years old. Problem is, I can´t get it touched up because I have since developed a completely irrational fear of needles.

Love Bites said...

Gratz on your tattoo! I felt the same way about getting one. It had to be indisputably mine, and no one else's. No butterflies in my tramp stamp area, either.

Rassles said...

Hell no. No butterflies, hearts, or random Asian characters that don't mean what you think they do.

Not saying that you are lame if that's your gig. Just not mine.

I used to want one of, like, the topography of some place that I loved, or an armillary sphere, or a mortar and pestle, or a clock face with no hands. Or Hank Venture.

If I was an amputee, I'd get tree rings.

American in Sydney said...

I had a mouse tattoo on my inner thigh, but now I can't find it.
Oh man, my pussy ate it.
Ugh, I know, the oldest one in the book.

American in Sydney said...

Loves the tattoo btw.

Love Bites said...

I know a woman who got cloverleafs where her nipples used to be after her breast reconstruction (after a mastectomy). Now, that's ballz. I like your tree ring ide'e.

Do you ever find yourself wanting to channel Tor these days? Moi do.

Only in mockery, though.

Rassles said...

Flor: you're an idiot.

LB: Cloverleaf nipples? That's amazing. Moi is impressed, and moi would like to tell her that moi would do that same. For moi.

Gypsy said...

I like it! Original.

I got my tat at 21 and haven't gotten another because there's been nothing else I wanted to carry with me for the next however many years I live.

American in Sydney said...

I mean moi pussy ate it.

Rassles said...

Gypsy: Thanks. I'm obsessed with it, as I'm sure you were with yours.

Flor: Moi thinks your pussy is greedy.