Sunday, November 16, 2008


So, since my life is a walking screwball comedy, I just superglued my fingers together.

That stuff really works.

Know what gets off superglue? Not much.

MoLinder saved the day with nail polish remover. Thank god someone around here wears nail polish, because I sure as shit don't. Makes up for the fact that she's the one who gave me the goddamn superglue in the first place.

She was all, "Yeah, I don't think it's open, so you're gonna have to do that, you know--"

"Pokey thing?"


"Okey dokey...Fuck. Fuckfuckfuck. Gaaahhh. You are a goddamn liar."

Most of it's off now, but I can't feel my thumb. It's an odd sensation, touching myself with foreign opposable appendages. I keep on rubbing my forearm. And I can't decide if the thumb numbness is the superglue, or the fact that I smashed it with a hammer an hour ago.

Home improvement is treacherous.



Anonymous said...

Does that numbness thing mean you have a phantom didget? Limb? Or you or MoLinder have a phantom brain for that whole superglue thing?

Anonymous said...

Nail polish remover 'works', but it's not like a CTRL+Z solution; it takes a while for the residual glue to wear away.

Anonymous said...

yeah how come superglue works so well on skin but won't hold the slats of my bed together?

Reverend Ghost said...

Nurse, I doubt any adhesive is going to keep your slats together.
Rass: you're lots of fun. If I'm ever in chicago in the winter, maybe we can run around and put our tongues on cold metal things.

Anonymous said...

I admit to having superglued fingers together is a quite weird sensation...

I do believe my friend Jenn beats this though...she once woke up and blindly mistook superglue for eye drops. I think superglueing your eyelids shut is worse than your fingers. Does that make you feel better??

Feisty Democrat said...

I can't beat what bobbay said, but it occurs to me that superglue is a babysister's best friend..."OK kids, who needs chapstick? Awesome, now I can watch some TV in peace!"

paperback reader said...

What gets superglue off? Girl on girl.

This is the downside of being a dude: a genetic predilection toward those kind of jokes; pretending that you're reading the book of life "for the articles."

Gypsy said...

Could you have gotten high off your own fumes? That takes sniffing fingers to a whole new level.

Rassles said...

Mongo: Are you saying superglue is a supervillain? Because a super-sticky villain is probably the most terrifying thing I can come up with, other than the clap.

Gully: If I could just go around Control-Z-ing things, I would use it for way better things than superglue fingers, like Sunday mornings. And 2004.

Nurse: Doesn't work on shattered pride, either.

Gok: I also do bat mitzvahs and weddings.

Bobbay: Please tell me you're talking about Geighes so I can make fun of her.

Math: It's also fun to put on cats. Take that, MoLinder.

Pistols: The downside of being a girl? Being obsessively drawn in by livestream feeds of Shiba Inu puppies.

Gypsy: Perhaps. I'll get back to you on that. I need to try again, and I'll probably end up fucking it up somehow and gluing myself all over again.

Anonymous said... friend from high school. Who happens to now live in San Diego, where MoLinder is from...this seems like an extremely vicious super-glue cycle...

paperback reader said...

Rassles, I'd judge, but every single girl I know is obsessed with that, so I'll forgive your gender, but only because men are still less appealing to me than a gender with boobs who suffers from excessive cooing over e-dogs.

Mister Crowley said...

Sticky little fingers

Anonymous said...

In all my years, my fingers have been the only things I've managed to glue together with superglue. I switched to hot glue.

Hot glue = Blisters.