Thursday, November 13, 2008

Thank you, Sunshine.

Man, people are just giving me shit left and right. Drawing many pictures. The Streetwise Guy tried to weasel money out of me by following me and saying my smile was like sunshine, just like he does every other goddamn day that I'm too lazy to shower. I think he can tell I'm unclean, especially since he has lots of experience with the whole not showering thing. We smell our own.

But a couple months ago I gave him a lighter and a cigarette, and today he wanted to return the lighter. It's not often that homeless people get you back.

"No, man, keep it."

"Oh, thank you, Sunshine, God blesshoo. Happy Thursday."

And now I want to draw a picture for him, but I don't know how to properly represent him on paper without the distinct smell of booze and smokes.

Luckily, Mountain Lover is obsessed with me (rightly so) and fuck yeah she gave me a blog award, which is just soooo supergay. It doesn't surprise me, though, because she's very introspective and cool, and am I. And I can't very well draw a picture for Mongo and not for Mount. But whereas Mongo is like, a scattered, shiney, warrior woman, Mount is somehow more tender, yet more solid. She's a giver. She's like, the type of person you want to have as a mentor, a sister. An anchor. I'm pretty sure she's in love with love.

And well, she likes to fuck mountains.

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And secondly, the glowing Renal Failure made me a member of the covetted T-Lott Posse (it's very exclusive). And I'm all kinds of retarded for his blog, so this was exciting for me. I'm always afraid that I'm too inadequate to comment over there, and I'll come up with something to say, turn chicken, and pull out. Then I do say something and get all nervous. So Renal, this bean's for you:

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If anyone else would like to give me something, I'll be drawing things all day. I've already coded all sorts of messages for my boss in interpretive pictures, such as:

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Let's see him figure that one out. He deserves it. I've never had to answer his calls before.

NOTE TO BLUESTREAK: I'm working on a picture for you. After all, you gave me my first award ever.



paperback reader said...

It's like arts and crafts day over here! I'm going to try and use my abilities to glue popsicle sticks together to impress some 8-year-olds.

Rassles said...

Can you build me a bridge, while you're at it? I need something to shoot this rocket at.

~Mountain Lover~ said...

Oh Rassles, you are right on so many levels, it's scary. It's like you know me.

Lesson I learned today: do not read Rassle's blog when your boss is near your desk. You'll receive puzzled looks when you erupt into laughter. And really, how do you explain this?

Anonymous said...

since when have you become an artiste? and where is my fucking picture?

Bluestreak said...

I was hoping you would.

Gypsy said...

Kangaroo pouch plumber's crack? Hmm... I'm really not good at riddles.

Great doodles, though. I can draw a stick figure and that's it.

Rassles said...

Mount: That was facetious, right? Because I don't think my description does you justice. As for your boss, what always works for me is, "I just got the memo about your face."

Linder: I would be all like, "give me presents, bitch" but you bought me beer yesterday, so...someday.

Blue: You're far more complicated to capture than I previously assumed.

Gypsy: No. What's in the kangaroo pouch? And the bottom line isn't a hard code, either. In fact, it's not a code at all.

~Mountain Lover~ said...

My Interpretation of the picture:

My baby kangaroo wants to junk-punch your plumber's crack a whole hella lot.

Am I close?

formerly fun said...

ok, one, I didn't know you had mad arty skilz. two where's MY picture?

renalfailure said...

I has an F Bean!

I like your reason for not commenting more. I like to think that's why I don't get many comments, everyone's afraid to. Don't know why that would be, but I'll take it.

Rassles said...


FF: Give me presents, then. I only put out for gifts.

Renal: It's a failed kidney. Zing.

Feisty Democrat said...

Joey smoked crack 1085 times? That's amazing!

American in Sydney said...

I'm fairly certain (though I'm still working out the details) that the boxing kangaroo was kind of for me too.

Rassles said...

Math: You are closest. But I'm not really surprised. After all, you're a mathdude.

Flor: No, I wouldn't draw you as a boxing kangaroo, but rather boxing a kangaroo.