Saturday, November 29, 2008

Things I Learned On Wednesday.

1. Oatmeal is complemented perfectly by White Russians. Da.

2. Anyone who's anyone should love Die Hard (get on that, Ammo. Mike sides with me on this one. Ho ho ho.)

3. If you're going to bring booze to-go containers into a bar, don't just stand there and blatantly drink it. Bouncers don't like it, and they have a job to do, and it's very cold outside. Besides, you will bring shame upon M.E.'s credibility after bringing her straight friends into gay bars.

4. Never leave your phone next to a Korean guy who is in love with you, because he will steal your number from it and leave little hidden messages all over your phone, hoping you find them later on. Like "Hi call eric" in the drafts section of your text messages, and marking days off on your calendar to "call eric", and setting alarms to remind you to "call eric" all of which you discover over the course of the next three days and ANNOY YOU TO GREAT DETAIL.

Superheroes and Villains party tonight. Booyah.



derfina said...

Oatmeal and white russians beat the hell out of Busch Light and Cap'n Crunch. *shudders*

Anonymous said...

Sorry. No time to comment now. Gotta get on the phone to Eric.

paperback reader said...

Drinking white Russians plural is always problematic. It's like combining booze with everything else that naturally makes you vomit leprechauns.

Die Hard is great on just about every level imaginable - as a movie, as a perfect insight into late 80s American culture (Japanese taking over a company; John trying to get his wife - who's taken her original name again - back; terrorists with no agenda but money), and as a chance for The Dad From Family Matters To Stretch His Chops.

Lastly, never allow Koreans in general to fall in love with you, because it never ends well. Also, putting that much effort into anything is creepy, Eric.

American in Sydney said...

#1 and #4 sound really good. Ok, #1 sounds like something I need right now. #4 just sounds.. whatever-- I don't know what I mean-- too much partying tonight.

Anonymous said...

White Russian is usually the last drink I have of the night, the one right before I fall down.

Eric's a little creepy, but I gotta give him points for creativity.

Mister Crowley said...


C'mon baby, come ta papa. I'll kiss yer fuckin' kimchi steamer

Rassles said...

Derfina: If you had said PBR and Cap'n Crunch, I would have called you crazy. Because that is what

Mongo: Seriously, want his number?

Pistols: Who said anything about terrorists? But yes. Die Hard is near perfection. But I can reckon one major improvement: Bonnie Bedelia was horribly miscast, and the only person worthy of acting opposite Bruce Willis is of course, me. Although when they made it, I was seven. Whatever. Worked for little Nancy Callahan, and by the way, fuck Jessica Alba.

Flor: Four is good for stories and bad for patience.

Franki: It's the dessert of all drinks.

Crow: You're calling Eric classless, correct? Because I'm all class and culture. And I had to google "nekkulturny," so you win. For now. If this weren't the internet, I would shake my fist at you. Ahhh, fuck it. Doing it anyway.