So on Christmas morning at my parents house, we're all spread out around our lopsided tree opening gifts that just keep getting cooler and I feel horrible, because I know that I wasn't able to muster one complete present for any member of my family. Books for the parents, albums for Katsisch, and I'm in the middle of stringing together a handmade wallet for the Yellavitch, which is harder than it sounds.
Right now, four days later, the wallet is still not sewn, and the missing books and albums have yet to arrive. Someday my family will get their gifts.
But the best part of Christmas morning was when my Dad, being The Coolest Ever, busted out a present that no one recognized.
"Oh, whatever could this be?" he says, giggling to himself and ripping it open. "Oh! Oh! A Wii! How did Santa know?"
"WHAT?" sometimes my mom sounds like screeching eagle. "Where did you get that?"
My dad bares his teeth and raises his eyebrows with supreme confidence and satisfaction. "Santa."
I'm excited for the post-Wii hurtin'. "Wii are so boxing later."
"Yeah Wii are."
"No, let's do bowling." That's my sister.
"Everyone wii-ll be ignored until they properly insert a Wii-pun into all sentences."
"Fine. Um...um...bowling is sure to cure any ennuwii."
My dad and I look at each other. "Nice one, Katsisch."
My mom just shakes her head, confused and annoyed. Mom is wonderful, but she really hates fun.
Right, like no family ever did that before, just going around trading dumbass Wii puns for goddamn days. (Kidding me? I just texted my sister with, "I hope you ate your Wii-ties and shined your elbow cuz I'm gonna kill you at tennis next time I'm home.")
Then Yellavitch goes on a verbal anti-Wii spwii. "What is the point? I don't understand Wii. Why would you spend four hundred dollars so you can go fake bowling, when real bowling is awesome? And then when we want to go bowling everyone whines about having no money and it's just like, that's because you just spent four hundred dollars on a game console, you twat."
That leaves us speechless for a good ten seconds, and then we decide its best to just ignore her, because Wii boxing is the shit, and gives me fwii reign to beat the crap outta my sister, which she deserves. Because she hates fun, too.