The Top Five Honchos of the office are at some lame retreat today where they like, talk about the future of the organization and do trust falls and stuff, so the rest of us were like, "Wooooooo, partay."
Or you know, me and my neighboring co-worker, the Smooth Criminal, were like, "That bottle of wine has been sitting there since Christmas, and we are totally going to drink it."
However, we have no wine opener, so I spent five minutes trying to shove the cork into the bottle with my thumb. And then there was this popping sound, and then there was Chianti all over my computer screen. And the wall. And the ceiling. And like, every single piece of paper on my desk.
So then there was rummaging through cabinets for proper cleaning products, and do you know how hard it is getting red wine off of the wall?
I totally wore a pink shirt today, though, so yeah. One disaster, fucking thwarted.
And then everyone else, you know, those silly girls that had never heard of Kurt Vonnegut were all, "Oh, you're so bad, I can't believe you're drinking at work. I refuse to partake in such uncouth behavior" fucking blah blah blah. I'm like, "Seriously? Have some wine."
Apparently, the good-and-evil-shoulders of my coworkers are far, um...gooder than mine.