After a surprisingly sober fun night at Ian's Party last night (it's wierd that I have readers that won't just know what I'm referring to by dropping Ian's Party, so I feel obliged to link such things so I don't have to elaborate), I've decided to spend all day drinking in honor of my upcoming birthday. I have also decided to be the annoying girl with the Hannukah birthday (eight crazy nights) because I have every right to be.
And I've officially accepted that I will never join the twenty-seven club.
All that aside, I have no stories, because I don't feel like it, but here's another tidbit from another one of The Whores, Ammo, "The Captain."
And this is how she feels about me:
Here is a list for my favorite list maker! Happy Birthday, Ross! (These are in no particular order, except how I am remembering them)...
p.s. I am not drunk.
1. When she broke her glasses in two pieces, she went to Starbucks. Realizing she cannot see the menu, she monocled with one lens to order a coffee. Priceless.
2. Her drunk voicemails are the best. I never thought I'd listen to an inebriated train of thought and be thoroughly entertained.
3. She taught me how to make White Russians. Now I can finally drink milk! Thanks Ross!
4. Her turkey man mass text will be one of the most epic moments I have ever had standing outside Petco checking my cell phone.
5. She is the only one that can sing a song that was meant for two people to sing. Both male and female parts and make that shit work.
6. She has a contagious laugh. You cannot be human if you don't laugh with her.
7. Her blogging is comparable to eating White Castle. You crave it, generally are drunk when you consume it, and usually feel ashamed afterwords for giving in.
8. She can make a cold night outside The Hidden Cove a lot more tolerable, with a cigarette that is.
9. She is one of the most generous, kindest and smartest people I can say is one of my friends.
10. She is the only one I can text, "I have beer", or "Let's get fucked up" and will be over in about an hour.
11. She recently taught me that wearing long sleeved sweaters, getting drunk and having your period all at the same time is a bad idea. Never thought of it!!
12. I never get tired of her dropping F-bombs in "Total Eclipse of the Heart".
13. She managed to play off Jackie Brown for Tarantino Night...and it worked.
14. She makes me feel less ashamed of saying "Fuck" or "Fucking" in every/every other sentence.
15. Her gin story makes me feel like I should cut back on the Bombay.
16. She is an interdimensional traveler, which can be helpful.
17. Feckin. That's it.
I hope this made your day. I wish you many interdimensional travels for your pub chugga choo choo! Once again I am a tool for working and missing it.