In honor of my birthday, which is coming up in three days, I'm having The Whores write little snippets on the fly about me for my blog.
In case you were unaware, and you probably are, some of my friends and I call ourselves The Whores. We all bonded over being obsessed with live band karaoke (as if you haven't yet gleaned that I'm completely engrossed in it) and that escalated into obscene, overpowering friendships where we constantly embarass, esteem, and enliven each other.
We used to spend all of our time at a certain bar, and some douchebag put up a post on Craigslist's missed connections one day about us. This post was from "the MAN at the bar" (Mothers) to "the whores" that were setting back the standards of womanhood by getting drunk and being unladylike in general. Which is amazing. You know what it's like when you get seven bold personalities together, people who are completely unafraid as long as they're with each other? That's what it's like. I don't know if I know of any group of women that are as intelligent, independent, hilarious, and in control as The Whores. Well, when you're out of control on purpose, you're still in control, right?
The ridiculous part about that? He was hitting on us all night and we kept shooting him down, which is why he was so angry. Also, he neglected to mention that not a single one of us hooked up with anyone at the bar, and that we were with a bunch of dudes, too.
They better not care that I'm putting a picture of us up here. I tried to pick a cleaner one, even though this was nearly two years ago (on Rabbit Night) and M.E. is dressed up like a vibrator. I was going to be Bunnicula, but I just completely failed. And Jesus, my hair is long.
The following was written by Xtine (Little Red) former roommate and lead singer of a band currently on hiatus that I horribly, sloppily played in a couple years ago. She does a mean "Jolene" and an even better "Run to the Hills," but her best songs are the ones that she wrote herself.
Ross has what would be characterized to some as a "naughty laugh." And by "some" I mean everyone, but especially British guys who have no shot. The day Rahm Emanuel got posted I texted her saying she must be in love, first because he's hot, and second because nobody is happier to know you have her in mind than Ross. This is in part because she is an accredited life ruiner and wants to control your mind, but that's usually not bad because it means she will get you hooked on Heroes or something equally awesome. Best roomie ever, worst pool partner ever, bag/costume-maker extraordinaire, Bo Peep, big big boobies, and she can do a mean Paradise by the Dashboard Light. Oh, and she's kinesthetic. What more?