Monday, February 23, 2009

Contamination Nation

Yeah, I know that this is a part of a hypothetical series of covers for books that are based off of movies, the majority of which are not Teen Wolf, but officially, wolf fever is seriously polluting the country as we speak. Maybe it's because Target has a Teen Wolf double-feature special on sale right now.

Apparently, my new thing is to just link to other blogs instead of coming up with my own things to write about.

But seriously. Check out the covers for Ghostbusters and War Games. Genius.

Fucking whatever.

Gyna had me read a review posted in the Stranger regarding the worst movie in existence, because, well, she and I were fucking right on with our assessment, and Seattle agrees. Movie is awful, horrid, incredible badness, and the only reason most of us have a desire to see it is for the chance to memorize every sinewy cranny of Bradley Cooper, who I'm pretty sure is the earthly personification of Apollo.

I just hope Hollywood doesn't figure that out, because they're just going to keep on cranking out awful Cooper romantic comedies that I'll waste my time and money watching until he's completely fused into the League of Hot But Expendable Gentlemen, like Hugh Jackman after he did that time-traveling Meg Ryan bullshit and then that crap with Ashley Judd, the Vampire of Fun. And she's not the cuddly emo Twilight kind of vampire, I'm talking like From Dusk Til Dawn Liver-Spotted Sucker-of-Joy.




Anonymous said...

I had no idea this blog existed until you told me about it the other day.

A word on Bradley Cooper.

That dude is awesome. I was a huge fan of Alias for a while and thought that Will Tippin was so much better for Sydney Bristow than Vaughn. I'm sure you too are an Alias fan, and you no doubt remember that heartbreaking scene when Will had to destroy his life and reputation so that SD 6 would not assassinate him. That moment when Jack Bristow is about to shoot him up with dope in that crack house, and he looks at Jack and says simply "I'm scared"

Such a fucking heartwrenching scene. Needless to say his turn as the prick in Wedding Crashers was great because of how un-Tippin he was.

Red said...

I can't believe I've never seen _Teen Wolf_. Doesn't it star Michael J. Fox, aka Red's First Crush? I'm going to Netflix it toute suite. Probably not _...Too_ though. I mean, it's just the year of _Teen Wolf_, right?

Gwen said...

Thanks for the link to that blog review of The Worst Movie Ever Made. I haven't even seen the movie, but if any of what I hear about it is true I have to agree with this assessment.

Anonymous said...

I can safely predict that I will never see that movie.


You can quote me . . .

Anonymous said...

I vote for more Rassles film reviews!

paperback reader said...

Even John Mayer made some Teen Wolf reference in his faux-"real" self-motivation tape. I hate that guy, but his note to self, "Stop telling girls you wrote Teen Wolf. There's the internet now, and people can look that stuff up" was pretty funny.

Le Meems said...

Pistols, always kills me. Its like when Romy & Michelle told people they invented post-its.

I mean speaking of awesomely bad movies.

Anonymous said...

I left a BUNCH of comments this morning over at The Cusp about voting for Ginny in Blogging Awards thingy. Just so ya know, I plan on voting for you too . . .

Mia Watts said...

I enjoy Ashley Judd. Hugh Jackman is fine but hasn't aged well. Not at all interested in Bradley Cooper.

However, put Angelina Jolie in a room and for her I'd throw my hetero out the window for a night.

Rassles said...

Cliff: Yeah, blog obsession. I am an idiot. And are you trying to tell me something, here? Did Jack Bristow put you up to this? You found out about the real life equivalent of SD-6, didn't you? I fucking KNEW it. I won't tell.

Red: You bet your ass it's the Year of Teen Wolf. But maybe you should refrain from watching it, so that way your thing can be like, The Girl Who's Never Seen Teen Wolf.

Gwen: Avoid it at all costs.

Tysdaddy: Sure, until the wife demands it from you. And thanks for voting for me.

Erin: Oh, you guys'll get one next week. Watchmen comes out. Holla.

Pistols: That is fucking hysterical. And yeah, he's a total wanker. He had a thing with one of my friends about a year ago...that's a fun story.

Le Meems: Romy and Michelle is not bad. Just awesome.

Mia: Seriously? I'm not the biggest fan of Angelina Jolie either. She bugs the fuck out of me, with her crazy thin arms and whatever.