That is my one and only gift, I think. Speech recollection. I can pay attention to like, four conversations at once. I could probably act out the entire movie I saw last night if it didn’t make me want to rip out my tongue and communicate only via Mongolian throat overtones just to drown out the memory of that dialogue.
"Farking stupid, is what I am. Stupid, stupid, stupid.
"Me and Gyna were all about seeing a movie last night. At least, I was. I didn't even care what movie, but there was a small part of me that wanted to see this one. Perhaps it could offer crucial advice, or a couple funny lines. I mean, I should at least enjoy looking at Bradley Cooper, right? Eye candy? The fact that this movie even got produced makes me furious.
I mean, I hated it more than I hated the musical version of Wicked=, and I'll complain about my loathing for that garbage dump of bitchfuckery to anyone with ears.
As far as I'm concerned, there were three good things surfing through that film bilge that technically had nothing to do with the movie itself:
Not to go all femi-crazy, but seriously? Are there women out there who behave like the dumbasses in this movie? Obviously they exist, I mean, there were people in the theater who liked the movie. Gyna sides with me on this one. What kind off crap-ass girls are wandering around out there in public? Who are these women? <
Every single female in that movie was a fucking moron. The very thought of living like that, in a perpetual state of crazy, embarrasses me. So immediately after the movie, we went to a bar.
"Fucking seriously, that movie ruined my life," I said to a co-worker this morning. "I don't know what could make me feel better after that."
"What about...a burger from Kuma's?"
Sideways look, small grin. "Well that would be nice."
She gets sing-songy. "And a PBR?"
I nod, smirkishly. "I do loves me some PBR."
"Okay, I got it," she straightens herself up in her chair.
"What if you were eating Kuma's and drinking PBR with 1989 Bruce Willis and watching The Watchmen?”
“Oh my god. That would be—I would—overload—I mean—"
I love it when people listen when I say things I love.