You know, I was so sure that the song of 2008 was going to be "Youth Gone Wild." I mean, I was positive that there would be this massive Skid Row revival, where Sebastian Bach rejoined for one last tour before spontaneously combusting from being so fucking bodacious and disorderly. Which makes sense, because since he was a kid, they couldn't hold him down.
Sometimes he wore gold pants.
And obviously, since I'm sure none of you knew that "Youth Gone Wild" was supposed to be the song of the year, I can add my exhausting one-woman campaign for song of the year to all of the other things I failed to do in 2008. But my failures really shouldn't come as a surprise to anyone, since I lead the kind of life and that either throws people into laugh fits or uncomfortably ends conversations.
Everything I do is either awkward or hilarious.
(Small aside: Earlier today I was trying to come up with the common denominator between all of my friends, since they're not all friends with each other and I think about things like that all the fucking time. I came up with nothing until I typed that sentence. Up there, just now. Before that sentence, the only thing they had in common was an undying love for me. Which is really the only prerequisite, so if anyone's interested, I'm pretty sure I've got my Posse Applications lying around here somewhere. I'll ask Slinger, he knows where they are.
But part of being in the Posse is you have to love what I love, and that means "Youth Gone Wild." It also means that when I name a topic, that's what we're goddamn talking about for the rest of the year.
But yes. That's what all of my friends have in common. Awkward hilarity. And I can identify them all by laugh and laugh alone.)
Anyway, so I've been thinking a lot lately about where 2009 should lead me, and I'm nearly 100% positive that this year, everything's coming up Teen Wolf.
Ever since I unleashed that love I have for Stiles, fucking Teen Wolf is everywhere I turn. I never knew what a cross-country devotion that movie inspired until like, three weeks ago. I mean, obviously, I know it's a classic. But I feel like the emotions are stronger than I ever realized.
And then Gyna made out with this guy, and he totally Boofed her up. Seriously. She's got all these crazy scratches across her side. And one of my co-workers was talking about Full House and the episode where Joey and Jesse do a cologne ad, and I realized: Joey and Jesse's boss is Dad Wolf.
THEN: I got in an argument today about Spiderman and the exact words of this: "With great power comes great responsibility," when I realized that I was all fucked up, because in Teen Wolf, they reel that quote in too, except it's "with great power comes greater responsibility."
And you know who's been directing It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia, which I half-realized when I watched it on Friday after recognizing "Jerry Levine" in the credits and trying to remember who it was?
Yeah. Mahfuckin' Stiles.
Superbowl party at my parents house. My cousins and I started reminiscing about Vegas, when David blurts out, "Never play cards with a guy who has the same first name as a city." I grabbed him and shook him as hard as I could and yelled, "ARE YOU SERIOUSLY QUOTING TEEN WOLF RIGHT NOW?"
Plus, Boomer likes it.
Let the Year of Teen Wolf commence.