Tuesday, February 3, 2009

Sometimes It Skips a Generation

You know, I was so sure that the song of 2008 was going to be "Youth Gone Wild." I mean, I was positive that there would be this massive Skid Row revival, where Sebastian Bach rejoined for one last tour before spontaneously combusting from being so fucking bodacious and disorderly. Which makes sense, because since he was a kid, they couldn't hold him down.

Sometimes he wore gold pants.

And obviously, since I'm sure none of you knew that "Youth Gone Wild" was supposed to be the song of the year, I can add my exhausting one-woman campaign for song of the year to all of the other things I failed to do in 2008. But my failures really shouldn't come as a surprise to anyone, since I lead the kind of life and that either throws people into laugh fits or uncomfortably ends conversations.

Everything I do is either awkward or hilarious.

(Small aside: Earlier today I was trying to come up with the common denominator between all of my friends, since they're not all friends with each other and I think about things like that all the fucking time. I came up with nothing until I typed that sentence. Up there, just now. Before that sentence, the only thing they had in common was an undying love for me. Which is really the only prerequisite, so if anyone's interested, I'm pretty sure I've got my Posse Applications lying around here somewhere. I'll ask Slinger, he knows where they are.

But part of being in the Posse is you have to love what I love, and that means "Youth Gone Wild." It also means that when I name a topic, that's what we're goddamn talking about for the rest of the year.

But yes. That's what all of my friends have in common. Awkward hilarity. And I can identify them all by laugh and laugh alone.)

Anyway, so I've been thinking a lot lately about where 2009 should lead me, and I'm nearly 100% positive that this year, everything's coming up Teen Wolf.

Ever since I unleashed that love I have for Stiles, fucking Teen Wolf is everywhere I turn. I never knew what a cross-country devotion that movie inspired until like, three weeks ago. I mean, obviously, I know it's a classic. But I feel like the emotions are stronger than I ever realized.

And then Gyna made out with this guy, and he totally Boofed her up. Seriously. She's got all these crazy scratches across her side. And one of my co-workers was talking about Full House and the episode where Joey and Jesse do a cologne ad, and I realized: Joey and Jesse's boss is Dad Wolf.

THEN: I got in an argument today about Spiderman and the exact words of this: "With great power comes great responsibility," when I realized that I was all fucked up, because in Teen Wolf, they reel that quote in too, except it's "with great power comes greater responsibility."

And you know who's been directing It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia, which I half-realized when I watched it on Friday after recognizing "Jerry Levine" in the credits and trying to remember who it was?

Yeah. Mahfuckin' Stiles.

Superbowl party at my parents house. My cousins and I started reminiscing about Vegas, when David blurts out, "Never play cards with a guy who has the same first name as a city." I grabbed him and shook him as hard as I could and yelled, "ARE YOU SERIOUSLY QUOTING TEEN WOLF RIGHT NOW?"

Plus, Boomer likes it.

Let the Year of Teen Wolf commence.



Erin Alberty said...

I haven't ever seen Teen Wolf. Gulp.

Surviving Myself said it was even better than Back To The Future. That's a strong endorsement!


paperback reader said...

There are people in this world who haven't seen Teen Wolf?

It was a simpler time, when you could have a PG movie with a sports team called "The Beavers." What a time to be alive.

Mrs. Booms said...

Okay, I'm so on this and I'm pretty sure that your mistake in 2008 was not knowing me sooner so I could carry on the Skid Row fight. I mean, did you SEE Super Group on VH-1? That's what I'm saying.

So I'm completely on this Teen Wolf ride (surfing even) and a lot of that comes from the fact that one time my really uptight step-grandma took me to rent a movie and I begged for Teen Wolf and I had seen it before and I told it was okay. And then? Yeah, you know where I'm going with this... The party scene came on and the jello in the shirt and I was shut down and had to watch Care Bears. Suck.

So I'm taking on the Teen Wolf thing with you. I promise to devote my blog (mostly) to the cause. And all illustrations will have a Teen Wolf mention. That's major dude. Up until now it's been all zombies and shivs.

I have to work on my conversion van drawing.

Anyhow, I'm solidly onboard for reasons that few can understand.

And I'm watching the movie this weekend to refresh all things Teen Wolf in my mind.

"You Can RAVAGE my body!" (insert horrible southern accent)


Anonymous said...

If I were going to have a year named after a movie it would have to be the Year of All Things Monty Python and the Holy Grail. Or, All Things Raising Arizona.

"Son, did you know you have a panty hose on your head?"

renalfailure said...

This reminds me of 1997 when I unsuccessfully tried to lobby for the theme of my senior prom to be "18 and Life." I was way ahead of the 80's revival craze.

Mrs. Booms said...

okay so to seal our pact we have to get these:


Mrs. Booms said...

ps - jason totally looked at me weird when I said it was the demi-god of all shirts, but pay day will make that shirt become not an orphan anymore.

Anonymous said...

You want to be careful, in case the Hollywood hears you mentioning Teen Wolf too many times, and decides to REMAKE IT, starring Dakota Fanning and Jim Carrey. Like they do.

Bluestreak said...

Can I get a posse application? oh, and can that be my full time job? I think I meet the basic recruitment requirements.

Bluestreak said...

I second hereinfranklin's request for a year all things Raising Arizona. I am, afterall, from Arizona.

"you're young and you got your health, what you want with a job?"

~Mountain Lover~ said...

Everything I do is either awkward or hilarious.

Let me at those applications!

Red said...

I've never seen it, either. But MJFox was my first crush, so I'm gonna add it to my Netflix queue. Thanks, Rassles.

Rassles said...

Erin: This is CRAZY TALK. What, are you a Mennonite? Get on that.

Pistols: As much as I love Teen Wolf, I find it hard to get sentimental about beavers.

Boomer: I haven't drawn a picture in awhile too, so I'll have to bust out the pencil. It's just going to have to happen.

"It didn't pass me by, it landed ON MY FACE."

Oh, and that shirt is fucking incredible, nearly as brilliant my sweatshirt. So, for the sake of consistency with terms I use in my blog, Horse Sweatshirt is the Home Jersey, and once it's purchased, Teen Wolf Scribble Shirt will be the Away Jersey. Meaning: that shit's going public.

Franklin: Of course, both of those movies are fantastic and technically, from a cinematic standpoint, superior to Teen Wolf. Even Teen Wolf Too. But the signs of the connectional hurricane are not pointing towards stealing babies or men in drag. Everything's coming up Teen Wolf.

RF: I would have definitely been on board for that.

GullyB: I've gotta get the rights to do it myself immediately, don't I? Just to keep the offenders at bay. Like Michael Bay.

Fuck Michael Bay.

Blues: I'll talk to Slinger. He's in charge of the whole thing. I believe there's a questionnaire.

Mount: But it's got to lean more towards awkward, to the point where it becomes hilarious.

Red: Bump that shit up to the top, man, because as I live and breathe, you will not be disappointed.

Del-V said...

I haven't seen Teen Wolf in 20 years. I'll try to find it at Blockbuster. It'll be my goal in 2009.

The Ambiguous Blob said...

That was a 3 paragraph "aside" in parens. Nothing small about it. You remind me so much of my bestie, The Definition of Fabulous, it's incredible. I mean- she makes us call her The Definition of Fabulous, for crying out loud.
Also, while reading, I realized I forgot to put on deodorant today. Not okay, right?
And then! The teen wolf thing- my friend Benji tried surfing on top of his friend's VW bus after that movie came out. They were on this 1 lane, 2-way scary ass mountain road and on one of the turns, Benji flew off.
Luckily, he was pretty stoned, so he was all flexy and didn't break hisself. BUT he got a killer road rash.

formerly fun said...

awkward hilarity, that and extroverted introvert and raahr! I hold people hostage to listen to me are badges I wear with honor.

By the way, my word verification is hymen(g)if that's not both awkward and hilarious, I don't know what is.

Anonymous said...

Yeah. Teen Wolf rocked my world back in the day. But I was so Michael J Fox's bitch. And then, of course, Teen Wolf Too, which was supposedly this big disappointment. I don't know. I liked it.

By the way, your Stiles blog had me laughing my ass off.

Gypsy said...

As long as I don't have to see Michael J. Fox's hairy wolf armpits, I'm fine with it.

Rassles said...

Del-V: Don't even bother renting it; just buy it now. You won't regret it.

Ambiblob: It's always nice to hear about the positive physical effects of drug use.

FF: Hymens are like, quintessential for successful awkward hilarity, whether they're broken or not.

Gwen: Stiles is perhaps one of the greatest characters of all time, often imitated, never duplicated. He's as quintessential hymens.

Gypsy: Hell yeah! Jumping on board for Year of Teen Wolf.

Anonymous said...

Win. In the end. You've got to win in the end. I don't know how I feel about you revolving your whole year around a movie that reminds me of my ex boyfriend...no matter how fabulous the movie is ;) and the Rossi Posse! wasn't I the VP or something? I can't remember some of the questions we came up for the application. Hmmm.

Rassles said...

Dude, Rossi Posse is key.