Thursday, February 12, 2009

February 12th. 1809.

Today is an incredible day.

Not because yesterday sucked, and not because I totally called it, and my predictions of yesterday came soaring through within the past ten hours. Not because I'm really drunk right now, because I am, and luckily my penchant for backspace is now an official blogger enabler. I don't even fucking know right now.

But because, after yesterday and the threatening of the shank, and the awful week that The Captaihn had (as an aside, I'm blogging about this, because it's what I do, and I apologize for flashing your tits all over the blogosphere. Metaphorically. But you are naked all of the time because you are a model, and a good one, and fucking whate ver. Someday I will show off your work so I can soak your hotness by osmosis)

I might delete this tomorrow if I calculate it's unnecessary. And I might leave it up, because in the end I don't know what the hell I'm talking about.

Right now I'm considerably impressed at my ability to type at all.

So yeah. I was right, and I am officially psychic.

But this is about (crap. I deon't remember anymore.) No. I remember.

Today is an incredible day because it's not only the 200th birthday of both Charles Darwin and Abrahm Lincoln, but because...

No.

Wait.

That's it. It's because it's the birthday of the both of them.

And I know this for two reasons.

One: am obsessed with Darwin. If anyone is all about this, read Darwin's Dangerous Idea, which is similar to taking the history of belief, the history of doubt, and the history of science, and smashing them together in this glorious bundle of yummy logic and calling it a book. There are diagrams and love.

Two: If you watch Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure, they arrest Abe Lincoln and take him to San Dimas Jail or something, and when they ask his birthday Lincoln leans forward and says, as gravely as he is able, "February 12th. 1809."

I will never forget it.

Perhaps tomorrow I'll do this way better. But I'm drunk right now.

...

14 comments:

Del-V said...

I hope Abe likes ice cream cake because that's what I got him.

Mister Crowley said...

Dude. You've gotta have a poker face. Like me.

Betsey Booms said...

Bill and Ted should be standard watching material for all history classes?

Does Lincoln like beer? That's how I celebrate.

Ha ha, I almost typed celebate, but that is what February 14th is about, not February 12th.

~Mountain Lover~ said...

Excellent

hereinfranklin said...

Thanks to this post, I sailed through the NYTimes crossword today. I owe it all to you, Rassles.

prayingtodarwin said...

I totally ignored Lincoln. And I don't think he gave a rat's ass.

The Ambiguous Blob said...

We were totally drunk at the same time last night. Only I stayed away from the blogosphere because of what I did Friday night. It still blows my mind that I was able to type complete nonsense all over Facebook after 2 bottles of champagne and etc. substances.
So good on ya for drunk blogging and making some sense.

Red said...

If you spelled _that_ well while drunk I am mad impressed.

Captain Ammo Whore said...

Damn, by osmosis? Funny, I had a quiz on that yesterday as well. You and your ability to transcend through time never ceases to amaze me.

Thank you for the beer and laughs. I am tired as fuck, but it was worth it.

*lordilordilordi* (that's the shivering tongue noise we made when we were smoking last night)

esjkejasipem jipa[

Erin said...

I love Bill & Ted! Totally forgot that scene.

pistols at dawn said...

Abe Lincoln's birthday always makes me think: this would be a great time to get a deal on a mattress.

God Bless America.

Bluestreak said...

Dude, I am freaking the fuck out right now at your ability to communicate with me via some psychic channel across the globe. The day you posted this I was trying to convince my husband to watch Bill and Ted´s Excellent Adventure.

Gypsy said...

You were drunk when you typed this? How come it didn't go all hhiwqlkjif?

Rassles said...

Del-V: I hear he likes chocolate.

Crow: Whoa, three aces!

Boomer: I know that I learned all I know about Napoleon and Waterloo from Bill and Ted.

Mount: Holla.

Franklin: I live to dispense even more useless knowledge to the blogosphere.

Ginny: You have an excuse, being from a fake country.

Ambiblob: I keep on reading this and thinking, "How the fuck did I do that? Oh, right, backspace."

Red: See above comment. And I'm mad impressed with myself too. Every day.

Ammo: Nyeahnyeahnyeahnyeah.

Erin: And, did you know that Socrates loves billiards? SAN DIMAS HIGH SCHOOL FOOTBALL RULES!

Pistols: Don't ever say your thoughts aren't completely mediated by commercials.

Blues: I'm nearly always trying to convince someone to watch Bill and Ted.

Gypsy: I have no idea. Maybe it's because of so much Typeracer.