Wednesday, March 4, 2009

Even in the Face of Armageddon I Shall Not Compromise This.

Gaaahhhh Thursday night. Or Friday morning, whatever. Tickets have been purchased. I am shaking. Kevin got me theme-appropriate goody bag full of plastic cups, a t-shirt, and condoms, which will probably just sit there on my dresser, untouched. Because I'm the type of person that gets excited about movies like this.

Not that I mean to get my hopes up or anything, but the fact of the matter is I've been writing this movie in my head for twelve fucking years and to see it actualized onscreen is just very exciting. It could suck. It could dominate. What if it's as horrible as X-Men: The Last Stand? What if it's better than Batman Begins?

Life is getting to the point where previously steadfast friends are reconsidering their Rassles allegiance. I can tell, because they keep on saying things like this:

Patrick thought it was hilarious that you were so excited for the Creation Museum, and I was like, "Wait til the movie. Do not. Sit next. To Ross. I will be as far away from her as possible. Maybe in a completely different theater, I don't know."

There is no way I am sitting near you. You're just gonna punch me the whole time.

I'm just afraid that you're going to be sitting there by yourself, alienating the world and hitting strangers with your fist.

I am so not sitting next to you during the movie. I do not want to get hit, man. It's crap.

Fuck. Yes.



Mrs. Booms said...

I'm so excited for this damn movie I even watched G4's coverage of the movie and videogame like a turbo nerd, all salivating.

Anonymous said...

I'm like the geekiest person I know IRL and I had never heard of the Watchmen until people started salivating over the movie a year or two ago. And I still haven't read it or really know its whole story.

So does that make me a bad geek? After all, I can't keep up with everything.

I can relate, though, because I had been waiting for a Spiderman movie for fucking years before they finally did it. I don't think I had anything to drink for two days before I went to see it, to make sure I wouldn't have to pee.

Anonymous said...

Safe from Rassles' fists in Utah, I can say that I'd never even heard of this movie until now!

Nikki B. said...

it's okay...let them reevaluate.

there will be a point in the doubt the wicked awesomest part...when they will clench their teeth, tighten their sphincters and brace themselves for a punch like no one but rassles can give...and you know what? you won't be there.

it will be sad...there will be tears...they will undoubtedly text you...they will vow never to take you for granted again...and it will be glorious!!

just you wait!

Le Meems said...

darlin, i ain't nevah heard of no watchmen, but i'ma gonna go and school meself.

Anonymous said...

I'm totally a lurker on your blog, but I watched the pre-release screening a week ago...AMAZING! You'll love it.

Rob S said...

I'll sit next to you Rossi. I might need someone to punch me to keep me awake.

Anonymous said...

i'm so glad rob decided to step up and volunteer to sit next to you. there's no way i could do it - i'm still recovering from the bruises you left during "live free or die hard".

The Ambiguous Blob said...

Why do you beat people up in theaters? WHY???
(this, coming from the girl who bruised her bf's knuckles at the last movie they went to. granted, it was scary scary horror.)

Thanatos said...

Your post reminds me of my behavior during the transformers movie. I was cheering everytime a new character came on, and every single time Prime transformed.

Have you seen the virals for the movie? You know the 70s styled "information videos" about superhero vigilantes? Superb. I did hear that the soundtrack is rather cliched.

Anonymous said...

yea nikki b- there will be no sadness from the lack of punching. if you have been punched, once is enough. trust me.

Rygantron said...

The interweb is absolutely the best thing to happen to old-school nerdlingers like me: there are actual, honest to god girls who are excited about Watchmen?

...maybe one'll sit beside me.


Love Ry

Anonymous said...

People said the same thing about me when Mamma Mia came out.

They made me sit in the back, just in case.

Mister Crowley said...

Bah. Movie halls. I just wait for the DVD.

Anonymous said...

dude read this-

Rassles said...

Boomer: Yes, turbo nerd. Excellent.

Wolf: That most definitely makes you a bad geek, sir. But since you're from Alaska, we'll let it slide.

Erin: See, the more people that have never heard of it, the more shocked I am. In my head, up until about two years ago when they announced the movie, Watchmen was just something everyone read in high school. Like required literature for life, not school. Like Catcher in the Rye or The Hobbit. I just assumed everyone read it. Then all these people were like, "I don't know what that is" and I couldn't believe it. Then I remember that like, none of my friends ever read it in high school, and I couldn't ever convince anyone to read it in college.

Nikki: Yeah, fuckers'll wish I were next to them.

Le Meems: I be testin' you later, fo sho.

Anon: Thanks for punching me in the hope, man. Lurk all you want. I like the idea of lurkers.

Rob: It wasn't so bad, wasn't it? I think I elbowed Kevin way more than you.

MoL: And you weren't around for Cloverfield and Dark Knight, which were nearly as bad.

Ambiblob: Sometimes I get all riled up, man, and then I start laughing and punching people in the arm. It is inevitable.

Thanny: Oh, the soundtrack is garbage. Complete garbage, and completely distracting.

Gyna: I will punch you for that.

Ry: This is not how I expected this to go, sir, with you commenting on my blog before I commented on yours, since I've been randomly lurking over there for months whenever I remember to visit. But yes, a girl who likes Watchmen. We tend to be hitters, though, so bring a pillow for fist-cushionage.

Duck: They totally let me sit with them! But they made me hold things so I couldn't use my arms.

Crow: Oh, I love movie theatres. They smell bad, and everything's sticky and people are loud and's like home.