Tuesday, May 5, 2009

Having Things.

I am seriously so anti-(getting things I don't need). Do you understand how addictive of a person I am? Everything interesting must be embraced and shaken with vigor until it's damn near broken. Movies I like, books I read, friends I make. The shoes I wear, a piece of jewelry: they're all a commitment to me, and I exhaust all their jazz until they're breathless and worn, drain them of value and keep on on asking them for more life, to affirm and assure my identity, because so few things make me happy.

I mean: the last purse/bag I had? Eventually it ripped, and I stripped it for parts. It's a goddamn purse, who cares, right? I didn't want to get rid of it, though, I made the damn thing and it served me daily and faithfully, as a whole, for two full years. Scraps of it reinforce the purse I have right now, and when this one rips, I'll make another one out using both sets of leftovers.

So getting an iPhone, or a Blackberry...you guys can have that shit all you want, and I will never look down on you for it. But seriously, if I get one, my life will rely on that little bit of plastic in more ways than I feel comfortable thinking about right now, because I get hooked on things, and then I break things, and then I can't afford to replace things, and then I'm all upset that I have no more things.

You should have seen how I reacted when I couldn't find my favorite beer koozie. All drunk and angry and yelling at people. I had a relationship with that thing, it made everything familiar and safe and real, and then I threw a fit when someone accidentally threw it away.

And all that thing did was keep my beer cold.

So believe me when I say this: if something is not essential to my happiness and survival, I really, really, really don't want it.

That being said...I bought a new phone online. Kind of, I mean, it's refurbished.

It has a keyboard.

Shit.


...

23 comments:

~Mountain Lover~ said...

yeah... my upgrade a few years ago was to a phone with a keyboard. it was awesome. I could text faster that I ever had before.

Good luck and may the force be with you...

Pueblo girl said...

Hey, in the scale of materialism I'd say that liking (let's not say depending on) the things you have is miles better than needing to replace them tomorrow because they don't fill the inner black hole...

Funnily enough, speaking of astrophysics, I've just noticed that my verification word is "comet".

daisyfae said...

commit to what you love. understand what you need. seems pretty straightforward to me...

Gwen said...

Buying things makes me uncomfortable. I always feel guilty and panicky about it. I rarely shop for clothes for myself. Even food shopping is painful. I'm like, "Do we really need that?" So I really, really understand this.

Gwen said...

Oh and I had the same cell phone for about 8 years. I got it in 2000 and it was one of those motorola flip phones. It didn't have a color screen or anything fancy at all. When I would take it out to make a call people would be like, "Dude, that's your phone?" And they said it like it was Zac Morris huge-ass cell phone or something. I finally got a new phone last year after my husband MADE me. It's not a blackberry or anything cool. I spend enough time on my damn laptop. If I had a blackberry I would NEVER talk to people face to face. I barely do now. So, yeah, that would be bad, I think.

Florida Girl In Sydney said...

The THING is, it's ALL ABOUT the keyboard. Good luck with not loving and eventually killing that THING. Which will eventually lead to you buying the crackberry-- a THING you will not be able to live with out and it will destroy your sanity.

You're welcome for the uplifting comment.

Betsey Booms said...

I'm the same way. As a matter of fact, my coozie is named Woody, because it has a wood grain pattern on it and looks awesome. Keeping my beer cold is important to me.

Chris said...

I have an old friend who calls this "the tyranny of things". He still has some old golf shoes of his late father's because he can't get rid of them. They don't fit him and he doesn't golf. Also, you should read Terry Pratchett because he wrote like forty books.

prayingtodarwin said...

Stay the course, Rass. Because half a year ago, I had the world's oldest, pay-as-you-go-phone, with an utter lack of bells or whistles. Now? I am my iPhone's bitch. (To be fair, I didn't buy it. Owen did. I think he secretly thought I'd reject it, because I feel the same way about things that you do. And then he'd get it. But I showed him. Oh yes, I did.)

nursemyra said...

Rassles, I had a witty comment lined up but then I read Ginny's "I am my iphone's bitch"

Can't possibly top that

hereinfranklin said...

I like my electronics and my purses, by the way, but I hate knickknacks. I know people who have rooms just for their Christmas/Thanksgiving/
Labor Day/Easter/Arbor Day/
July 4th decorations. That's the kind of "stuff" that drives me crazy.

Mia Watts said...

You'll be wearing a keyboard key charm bracelet when it dies, made from your phone and any repurposed metal from the circuit board. Circuit necklace pendant and headphone hair ties are in your future.

Rather like one of those mountain people who save drink cans and old coke bottles to store things for generations. Except this will be in the wilds of Chicago. A chrome-and-glass-hippie. Urban Clan-of-the-Cavebear.

Peace out. Grr.

Blues said...

Rassles - thanks for this little glimpse, Rass. I wish I had your ability to love things in that way. Obsess over them, contemplate buying them, eventually dish out a bunch of money for them? Oh sure, I'll do that, but then I'm bored with it two days later.

Luisito is the same way on certain things. He blames me for creating needs for him. He tells me he never "needed" sushi until he met me. Now he "needs" sushi on a regular basis.

Mathdude said...

I'm with ya - my cell is ancient. No camera, no music, no nothing but the ability to make phone calls. OMG - what a concept! Making phone calls on a cell phone! Course, I get mocked constantly. My whole family has iphones and are always telling me "the Smithsonian called, they need your phone for the Ancient Communication Device display."

Schmee said...

YES. KEYBOARD. I win...I always do.

Anonymous said...

I heart my iPhone. The blackberry was too corporate, I just like having a fun phone.

A Free Man said...

I'd like to agree with you, but I'm too into my iPod - seriously into it. In the rare event that I forget it when I walk out the door in the morning, I go back and get it. Even if I've already gotten to work. It's my sanity.

Gypsy said...

I am way too much about the want over the need. It is a problem.

The Ambiguous Blob said...

Keyboards are so hot right now.

Le Meems said...

Here is the beer koozie to end all beer koozies. I snapped this in Key West a few weeks ago, belongs to an old salty fisherman. He's had it since Roger Rabbit came out on the big screen.
http://www.flickr.com/photos/praisecheeses/3442050658/in/set-72157616668781093?edited=1

Not Afraid to Use It said...

I understand the "thing" thing. What's fucked up is worrying about hurting it's feelings. Yeah, I just said that.

Kitty said...

Stripped a beat up purse for parts.
I'm dying laughing here. I do the same thing.

Rassles said...

Mount: I am addicted to it. I just sit there, ignoring everyone, alternating between sliding the keyboard and the number pad with a satisfying "click."

Pueblo: True, true. I've got my material possessions that I just HAVE to have, life is wrong without them...but they're well-loved, and never discarded.

Daisy: You make it sound so much more eloquent than my psychobabble.

Gwen: Me too. Like, "Should I really be buying these shoes when there are starving people in China?"

Flora: I get it. You are obviously some kind of crazy clairvoyant.

Boomer: There are few things that surpass a nice cold beer.

Chris: That's the perfect way to put it: THINGS are a harsh ruler, acting with little regard for the safety and comfort of its subjects. Also, that was the most random sentence ever to end a comment with, and I find it extraordinarily endearing.

Ginny: YOU NEED TO GET NINJA ROPES

Nurse: It sure is hard, you know?

Franklin: I got knick knacks. I got knick knacks up the yin yan. Little Bohemian glass bluebirds and bones carved out of styrofoam and boxes full of nothing. I'm trying to learn to reduce clutter, but it's so hard.

Mia: Currently, my pendant is the inside of a watch. I love it. I'm so steampunk.

Blues: Fuck you, now I "need" sushi. Bitch.

Math: You should tell them that after guerrilla technological revolution and the subsequent Rise of Anthrobots, your phone won't turn against you in the time of war.

Schmee: I'm getting better, but basically? I'm all thumbs on that thing.

Anonymous: There is nothing wrong with that.

Freeman: I am Ipodless. Do not judge, please.

Gypsy: Not if you like it that way. Then it's just the way it's supposed to be. I just can't imagine wanting much more than what I currently have, other than a pony.

Ambiblob: Just like me, and like, every dude I see lately. It's like I'm in heat. Fucking spring.

Meems: Ain't that just the darned-cutest thing?

NATUI: Oh thank god, I thought I was the only one. I can't get rid of any of my childhood stuffed animals, I can't box them up...damn you, Toy Story 2. DAMN YOU.

Kitty: We're thrifty.