"Welcome to AT&T! What can I do for you today?"
I feel defeated, because he's cute. I don't like it when the cute ones try to help me, because I get all rambly and defensive. Besides, I'm sunburned today, after sitting outside yesterday for five hours while my sister graduated from college. There's even a nice round white circle behind my necklace pendant thingy, and shit - he's looking at it. I grab the necklace and squeeze.
"I'm uh, just kind of...browsing. I got, um...I got an umm, oh, whatever it's called, a, ummm...upgrade. Phone upgrade. Thing? Because I'm down for one, or up for one, or whatever. You know. The whole new phone. Thing. Stop talking." Fucking seriously, I just told myself to stop talking out loud.
He smiles cleanly, friendly salesman-like. "Are you looking for a PDA, or a (couple other types of phones that mean nothing to me)?"
"I don't know. I just need a phone. Mine won't charge anymore. It's all discombobulated."
"How long have you had it?"
"I dunno, like three years or something."
"Well, we've got a great selection of (boogedy boogedy boogedy phone and I'm going to look up your account and then I'm going to show you a bunch of phones you have no interest in)."
He does his stuff, banging away on the keyboard. Nice jawline, all angular and ending at the ear, just like a jawline should--
"Can I have your phone number?"
"Hmmm?" I snap my head back up from it's little dreamy tilt. "For, uh...oh, okay." The computer. I close my eyes and shake my head, embarrassed, reciting my number.
"Okay," he says with a smile and a sigh, reading over my account information, and begins walking towards the phones. "So were you looking for something more like Blackberry? An iPhone? Or something else--"
I just interrupt him right away. "iPhones are pretty and all, but I can't help feeling they're pointless."
"The handy thing about them is all of the different applications you can download--"
"Yeah, um, other than Ninja Ropes and that app where you drink digital beer out of your phone, I don't really care about iPhones."
He takes me a step or two further towards the Blackberry phones, with all their extraneous buttons and little rolly mouse things. "What about something more like--"
"Yeah, I'm just going to stop you, because I really don't need all that extra fangly bizness all up in there."
"Sor," I shrug. He's showing me things I don't care about, and instantly his attractiveness wears off. "I just don't see the point. No one liked those little rolly things on laptops, either, what's the point of having them on phones?"
He chuckles, confused, "It is nicer for like, you know, checking your email--"
"Yeah I don't need the internet on there, I don't need an MP3 player, I don't need to watch movies or film things or whatever."
"Well I can pretty much tell you you're gonna find those options on nearly every phone on the market."
I glance at the line up of phones, bummed. "Balls."
He laughs again. "Well, let's say if you have all that on your phone, then you don't need your iPod anymore--" I start shaking my head as he continues, "--and you can get one of these hot little pink Croc cases--" He touches the stupid rubbery holey pink case thing, and I scoff, trying not to giggle. "--and that's not the route I should take with you."
"No, I don't have an iPod, I don't need one. And I didn't even know they made Croc phone cases," I laugh. "That's just dumb."
"Girl, what? You don't need one? You don't like music?"
"Like it just fine, I just can survive without one, so what's the point of making it essential? You know, like--"
"Okay, okay, they're nice for other things too, but I can see I can't convince you."
"Yeah, I just want a phone," guilty smile. "I want to make phone calls and text my friends. Maybe go over the monthly limit, I don't know, it's all up in the air."
"Well, we can change your plan for that."
"I don't really want to pay more, sooooo...no."
He looks up and down the wall and sighs. "You know, honestly, I think you're not going to find what you're lookin for here. You should just check the website."
"Oh, yeah. Look at the refurb phones. Like buying a used car and all that. You're taking a small chance, but you can probably get one for free, and then you're not losing money anyway."
"Just time and effort."
"Prolly worth it, for a simple phone. More environmentally friendly, anyway."
I like this guy again. "Well, thanks."
"Sure. Just doin' my job. You want to buy a car charger or anything? How about you come back after you get your new phone and check out the accessories?"
"So you get a commission anyway."
He nods and winks. "So I get a commission, exactly."
"Have a good one, now."
Internet, here I come.