Friday, June 19, 2009

The Declaration of Creative License

Updates on YoTW, my psychic-ness, and my awesomosity:


A couple weeks ago, Lailani sent me this link. I'm sure you're all familiar with the Three Wolf Moon shirt, but if not, consider yourself henceforth enlightened. It's not necessarily Teen Wolf, but seriously, read the last line of the article. Or read the whole thing, because either way it's rad.

Then, Ginny showed me this.

Basically, I need to do the script. It has to be me. It just HAS to. How do I get on that writing team? Whatever, you know it's got to be me and Boomer, the Vice President of the Year of Teen Wolf movement. I don't think there's anyone else in the world more qualified than the two of us to beat something like this into brilliance.

So I ask that all who come here sign this petition I've created:


The Declaration of Creative License for Teen Wolf

When in the course of human events it becomes necessary for one people to dissolve the cinematic societal status arbitrarily assigned to them by self-appointed upper-echelon cinephiles, and to assume the rights of status given to those scholarly few and established screenwriters, a decent respect to the opinions of mankind requires that they should declare the causes which impel their scriptwriting.

We hold these truths to be self-evident: that the sanctimonious Teen Wolf is untouchable in and of itself, that to do justice to a remake would require endowing the writing of a such a script to clever devotees, that among these devotees are Rassles, Boomer, and certain other members of the brilliant blog community. That to secure the proper script, we must be instituted as its Authors, deriving our awesome powers from the consent of the moviemakers. That because we predicted the Year of Teen Wolf, once the movie becomes eligible for remaking, it is the Right of Us to alter, abolish, or recreate it, and to institute a proper script, laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its powers in such form, as to them should most likely include Van Surfing and Air Punching. Prudence, indeed, should dictate that Classic Movies long established should not be changed for light and transient causes; and accordingly all experience hath shewn that cinematic remakes are disposed to making audiences suffer while evil remakes are sufferable than to right themselves by supervising the reimagining of Movies to which they are accustomed. But when a long train of abuses and usurpations of previous beloved Classic Movies, pursuing invariably the same object evinces a design to reduce them under absolute Horseshit, it is their right, it is their duty, to take control of Classic remakes, and to provide a higher standard for future remakes. Such has been the patient sufferance of audiences; and as such is now the necessity which constrains them to govern the alterations of Teen Wolf. The history of cinematic reimagining is a history of repeated injuries and usurpations, all having in direct object the establishment of an absolute Tyranny over audiences. To prove this, let facts be submitted to the candid world.

Psycho
Godzilla
Wicker Man
Planet of the Apes
The Nutty Professor
Get Carter*
Manchurian Candidate**
I Am Legend***

We, therefore, the undertyped, Representatives of the Blog Community of Rassles, on the internets, through assembled comments, appealing to the Moviemakers of the world for the rectitude of our intentions, do, in the Name, and by the Authority of the good People of the Internet, solemnly publish and declare that Rassles is fresher than princes in Bel-Air, and Boomer is a master of sweeping cult movements, and the rest of us are really cool and chic and clever, and that we have the right to the creative license of Teen Wolf.

...

* Well, the original's not really that good either, but Stallone? Really? You suck.

** I'm devoted to the original and the book.

*** Also devoted to the book, but not all of the movies necessarily. Don't fuck with me on this. The movie completely missed the goddamn point.

...

30 comments:

MoLinder said...

i'll be the john hancock for your declaration. now, i'm not a member of your YoTW movement but i am sympathetic to your cause. and for your sake i hope this remake doesn't suck. but let's be realistic - most remakes do.
viva la resistance

gullybogan said...

*signs*

Make sure you include zombies, yeah?

Gwen said...

Give me Rassles and Betsey Booms on the the Teen Wolf remake writing team or give me death!

Nikki B. said...

fuck yeah, i'll sign...in my own blood if need be. you prolly won't need blood, but whatev...

i'll be damned if i don't see the link to the 3 wolf moon shirt on the SAME EFFING DAY that i give my children their own 'creative license' to choose their father's father's day gift...and they chose a very similar "one wolf with glowing yellow eyes" shirt as their gift.

it's almost as rad...i'm posting pics soon.

just know that i'll sign anything...

Ginny said...

Oh captain, my captain, and all that jazz. I am behind you. In nearly any ridiculous endeavor, really, but ESPECIALLY this one.

Ellie said...

If this helps protect the future of E.T., I'll sign. ;)

daisyfae said...

i duly swear my allegiance to the YoTW movement.

[signed in the blood of the screaming toddler in the atlanta airport sitting behind me...]

daisyfae

.:~:.Foxglove.:~:. said...

You would totally rock that shit. You should be the Guardian of all great cult classics. Please guard Labyrinth and Monster Squad. I hereby cast my vote. Rassles ftw!

thecheekofgod said...

I'm with you on I Am Legend. The movie, while cool, sucked.

And the remake of Teen Wolf better include the three most important life-survival tips every filmed:

1. Never get less that 12 hours sleep.

2. Never play cards with a guy whose first name is the same as a city.

3. Never date a woman with a tattoo of a dagger on her body.

'nuff said . . .

A Free Man said...

I soooo want to be a member of the Blog Community of Rassles. Could it be the Blog Commune of Rassles, though? I'm a lefty.

renalfailure said...

I'll sign, but the Wicker Man remake gave us this...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e6i2WRreARo

...and it never fails to make me laugh.

Mia Watts said...

I bow before your legal mind.

The Kid In The Front Row said...

Why introduce the notion that remakes need to be any good? It's a business of money. Glorious money. Piles and piles.

LaiLani Ali said...

I could not possibly bow down to you any more for your incredible ability to be superpsychic. Also, you have mad writing skillz. Anybody can have a good idea. It takes a certain kind of genius to write stuff that makes a lasting impression.
You have my support for this.

sid said...

OMG Rassles you're so right!!! The original planet of the apes kicked ass. And then I saw the remake ... No, no, no!

Red said...

I totally support you doing the remake.

Lil said...

That Psycho remake can never be forgiven. Ever. Don't mess with Hitchcock. His movies should be sacred.

That said, would there be shiv wielding zombies in your Teen Wolf remake? Also, could he shout "ZULU" at some point? Lastly, if any movie were to get Joaquin Phoenix out of his "retirement", this would be it. He wouldn't even have to shave, right? And he could do the soundtrack. Those would be my only suggestions. Otherwise, genius be yours and Betsey's. *signs petition*

Betsey Booms said...

Shut the fuck up, man.

They are actually considering someone other than us?

(blinks)

Shit.

Gypsy said...

I'm only signing if I get to be a creative consultant.

Oh, who am I kidding? I sign! Also, I air punch, just to get in the spirit of things. But don't ask me to spend seven minutes in the closet with you -- your shirt will just get ripped.

Betsey Booms said...

Oh and at all creative meetings? I will...

HOOOLLLLD THE JELLLLLOOOO!

miconian said...

Seriously, though... I went to school for screenwriting, and here is the reality of the situation.

There are two ways I can think of that you could possibly have an influence on the script.

1) Write a manifesto of specific elements to be included, and make *that* widely popular and signed, a la Snakes On A Plane.

2) Write the script yourselves, on spec, and soon, and then release it online, and make it so popular that production company making the movie reads about it and realizes that it would be a bad move for them not to read it.

Betsey Booms said...

Oh and PS.

I'm not even entirely sure what makes up a "grass roots movement", I thought it had something to do with the after effects of drinking a wheat grass shake or some shit...

Um, but, I'm committed to getting one started here.

I know you hate the Twitter. But I did it. I took it to the Twitter.

Rassles said...

Is that like Taking It To the Streets, Doobie Brothers-style?

Kiefer and Emo said...

I'll sign!

Kiefer and Emo said...

Me too!

There's two right there!

Le Meems said...

I think

...that you should write your own NEW awesome flick. Something that has great characters, great lines and at least one hot chick named Mimi who makes a cameo.

Eff this protecting Teen Wolf bullshit. Write something new that will SIDETRACK everyone all summer 2010.

GO!

The Kid In The Front Row said...

I think Miconian makes some interesting points - both are worth being considered. But drumming up the support and interest can be really difficult, as difficult as getting a studio to say 'we have a go picture' hehe. But I'd love to see you do it- and fuck, even if they DON'T go with your script, your script will still exist - and if fans love it they'll hold it dear to them, a bit like the Kevin Smith Superman script, and the original Natural Born Killers script; stuff like that.

Just my .02

Kitty said...

Hell yeah I'll sign.

Rassles said...

I do not know how to respond to comments properly sometimes, so I will just say this to all of you:

You bring up valid, excellent points, about me and about logical, realistic things, and I thank you for indulging in my fantasies.

Work it, All.

Blues said...

Consider this my signature. Hells yeah.