A couple weeks ago, Lailani sent me this link. I'm sure you're all familiar with the Three Wolf Moon shirt, but if not, consider yourself henceforth enlightened. It's not necessarily Teen Wolf, but seriously, read the last line of the article. Or read the whole thing, because either way it's rad.
Then, Ginny showed me this.
Basically, I need to do the script. It has to be me. It just HAS to. How do I get on that writing team? Whatever, you know it's got to be me and Boomer, the Vice President of the Year of Teen Wolf movement. I don't think there's anyone else in the world more qualified than the two of us to beat something like this into brilliance.
So I ask that all who come here sign this petition I've created:
The Declaration of Creative License for Teen Wolf
When in the course of human events it becomes necessary for one people to dissolve the cinematic societal status arbitrarily assigned to them by self-appointed upper-echelon cinephiles, and to assume the rights of status given to those scholarly few and established screenwriters, a decent respect to the opinions of mankind requires that they should declare the causes which impel their scriptwriting.
We hold these truths to be self-evident: that the sanctimonious Teen Wolf is untouchable in and of itself, that to do justice to a remake would require endowing the writing of a such a script to clever devotees, that among these devotees are Rassles, Boomer, and certain other members of the brilliant blog community. That to secure the proper script, we must be instituted as its Authors, deriving our awesome powers from the consent of the moviemakers. That because we predicted the Year of Teen Wolf, once the movie becomes eligible for remaking, it is the Right of Us to alter, abolish, or recreate it, and to institute a proper script, laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its powers in such form, as to them should most likely include Van Surfing and Air Punching. Prudence, indeed, should dictate that Classic Movies long established should not be changed for light and transient causes; and accordingly all experience hath shewn that cinematic remakes are disposed to making audiences suffer while evil remakes are sufferable than to right themselves by supervising the reimagining of Movies to which they are accustomed. But when a long train of abuses and usurpations of previous beloved Classic Movies, pursuing invariably the same object evinces a design to reduce them under absolute Horseshit, it is their right, it is their duty, to take control of Classic remakes, and to provide a higher standard for future remakes. Such has been the patient sufferance of audiences; and as such is now the necessity which constrains them to govern the alterations of Teen Wolf. The history of cinematic reimagining is a history of repeated injuries and usurpations, all having in direct object the establishment of an absolute Tyranny over audiences. To prove this, let facts be submitted to the candid world.
Planet of the Apes
The Nutty Professor
I Am Legend***
We, therefore, the undertyped, Representatives of the Blog Community of Rassles, on the internets, through assembled comments, appealing to the Moviemakers of the world for the rectitude of our intentions, do, in the Name, and by the Authority of the good People of the Internet, solemnly publish and declare that Rassles is fresher than princes in Bel-Air, and Boomer is a master of sweeping cult movements, and the rest of us are really cool and chic and clever, and that we have the right to the creative license of Teen Wolf.
* Well, the original's not really that good either, but Stallone? Really? You suck.
** I'm devoted to the original and the book.
*** Also devoted to the book, but not all of the movies necessarily. Don't fuck with me on this. The movie completely missed the goddamn point.