Friday, June 26, 2009

Top Five?

As a rule, in all seriousness: AS A RULE I do not acknowledge celebrities, their personal lives, all the bullshit surrounding them.

I don't follow their day-to-day activities, I don't read the magazines, I don't care about their fashions, I don't follow gossip, I don't watch reality TV, and I don't give a shit.

There are people who don't deserve my time or my concentration. School shooters. Couples with too many children. Young, rich twenty-somethings who live like hobbits. In hills. God, I am hilare. Fashion gurus who try to convince us that we can only gain respect if we dress a certain way and follow certain rules (whatever, I would take a stringless $5,000 for a new wardrobe before ordering a beer, and that's business right there, but adhering to the parameters defining some shows is fucking bullshit).

As a rule: I don't care if you do.

As a rule: what you like is what you like, and who am I to keep someone from any personal joy?

I should also add that I am totally drunk right now.

My friends will attest to this. Family, coworkers. Anyone who's been reading this blog since I started it a little over a year ago can't argue with the fact that I don't talk about the fucking news or whatever pop culture bullshit is going on. I wrote about the birthdays of Kurt Vonnegut and Charles Darwin, electing Obama. That's basically it. To earn my respect, you have to leave a fucking mark. You have to be yourself: controversial, a decided individual, and your intentions, however misguided, must be good from my perspective.

In the end, whether you liked him or not, whether you believe he was innocent or guilty, whether you devoted yourself to his music or were repulsed by it...the imprint Michael Jackson left on the world is inarguable. Musically, philanthropically, medically, judicially, whateverly.

So, in no particular order, here are my top five favorite Michael Jackson/5 songs:

1. Man in the Mirror
2. Dirty Diana
3. Blame it on the Boogie
4. Rock With You
5. I Want You Back

And again, another thing I haven't done, wouldn't do, but feel compelled to ask: what are yours?



Kitty said...

Billy Jean
Beat It
Man in the Mirror
The Way You Make Me Feel.

I do believe in separating the artist from the art.

Party on, Rassles. Only blogging for one year? Wow. I'm so glad you found your way here.

Keep doing it.

Sid said...

Pretty young thing
Rock my world
Billie Jean
Dirty Diana

Sid said...

Also you should head over to my blog for the inappropriate MJ jokes.

Gypsy said...

Well said. Whatever choices he made, his music is on the soundtrack to all of our lives.


Rock with You
Billie Jean
Man in the Mirror
Beat It

~Mountain Lover~ said...

This was harder than I thought it would be. So many of his songs are associated with memories throughout my life . . .

The way you make me feel
Man in the Mirror
I'll be there
Beat it

Close contenders:
Rock with you

Anonymous said...

PYT has always been a favorite. And of course, Beat It, because of Eddie.

Otherwise, I've got nothing . . .

Can I say, for the record, that Farrah Fawcett got better with age? Her role in "The Apostle" still blows me away . . .

~Mountain Lover~ said...

And Billie Jean.

Okay, I need a top 10 list.

rien magazine said...

Never liked him. Ever.

Mrs. Booms said...


Wanna Be Starting Something
Off The Wall
Human Nature
Beat It
And we gotta give it up for the OG 80's zombies - Thriller.

Not really a favorite song of mine, but the video is righteous and have you EVER noticed how similar the TW and Thriller dance is.

I mean, I've got my claw hand in the air, do you?

Mrs. Booms said...

Wait! I mean "dances are"...

I'm totally off kilter today. However, I did give away 7 copies of the Thriller album (Epic Records) yesterday, burned from my husband's original album he bought when he was a kid, in perfect playing condition.

And then I contemplated getting a tattoo of MJ's white pant covered leg with the little tiger cub on it that is on the inside when you open it all the way up.


Mrs. Booms said...

Oh but the tattoo would be of JUST his leg and the cub. Not of him at all.

Which would probably confuse the hell out of people, they'd be all, "Why do you have a tattoo of a tiger cub on a mound of snow?"

Almost as awesome as three wolves and a moon.

Red said...

Want You Back
I'll Be There
Man in the Mirror

I'm not into celeb BS either, but Michael was an icon. This weekend, I will be seeing two childhood friends who I don't see often and haven't seen together for 18 years. However, our fourth grade talent show act was "I'll Be There."

~Mountain Lover~ said...

I contemplated wearing THE GLOVE today, but 1) I don't have one and 2) I don't think my colleagues would have understood and appreciated the awesomosity of the tribute I was paying him.

Like the man or not, he was a fucking legend. Anytime someone tries to moonwalk, or does the claw hand, or what have you, people WORLD WIDE know you got it from Michael Jackson.

There are only a few people like that throughout history.

renalfailure said...

What? Nobody mentioned Wanna Be Starting Something yet? Or his guest appearance on Rockwell's Somebody's Watching Me?

Have I left a mark with you yet, Rassles?

Schmee said...

right on no particular order my favorites are:

Wanna be startin somthin
Want you back
Human nature
Man in the Mirror
and that Whose lovin you? song (is that what it's called?) that one is up there too

favorite songs to dance to:

Beat it
Billie Jean
Wanna be startin somethin

Rassles said...

RF, you had me at Tag Larkin.

Le Meems said...

Obviously, Say Say Say by MJ AND Paul McCartney makes my heart beat faster. Now Sir Paul can get his GODDAMNED music catalogue back.

MJ jumped shark with the tandem NOSE JOB and STEALING OF BEATLES MUSIC.


And THAT is why
is my favorite song of ALL TIME!


I too am drunk right now. and it's 9:FIFTYfucking6 AM.


Thanatos said...

You do make lists, sometimes don't you?

Give into me
Dirty Diana
Beat It
Smooth Criminal

I like the first 3 songs all the more because of the guitars and shit.

Schmee said...

just thought of another one! not sure if the name is right...

Don't stop til ya get enough

Nikki B. said...

man in the mirror
smooth criminal
billie jean
wanna be startin' somethin'

sucks when people we grew up with are starting to die. fucking father time.

Mr London Street said...

Isn't "fucking father time" an offer MJ made at some of the sleepovers?

Hellbilly said...

Can I skip the top 5 and just call dibs on the black and silver striped pants from the "Rock With You" video?

Mongolian Girl said...

It would be the one where he praises the iconic beauty of Farrah Fawcet. No, wait. Um. I think I'm getting confused by all of this hooplah.

Ginny said...

Not to kiss ass, but I think my top 5 is yours, too.

Plus, I have a terribly embarassing soft spot for "Ben".

Hives Itch said...


Smooth Criminal
Rock with you
Black or White
Heal the world

Bonus: Man in the Mirror, Blame it on the boogie, You rock my world, Remember the time

Ugh. Hard.

Ellie said...

A different list from me. I saw him three times (from a distance in real life).

(a) The victory tour ... this was when the one glove thing was at its peak.

(b) On Oxford Street he was the nucleus of a throbbing exciting crowd ... well protected by a epidermis of bodyguard-goons ... the throng surrounding him looked like a massive demonstration (not so different looking to the Iranian protests ...)

(c) He was introduced at the half time of a Fulham football match. The audience didn't really expect it so no one paid the weird guy on the pitch much mind.

Gwen said...

This is soooo hard.

Billie Jean
Human Nature
Don't Stop (til you get Enough)

Can there be a tie between Thriller and Beat It?

The Kid In The Front Row said...

'and I don't give a shit.' - you kind of do though, otherwise you wouldn't write about the celebs in this way, surely!. And do the fashion gurus really try and convince us of that, or is it how we interpret what they're doing? I don't know, I kind of feel the same, although I don't feel the same anger about the things that aren't important to me.

As for MJ, my top five are:

1. Will You Be There
2. I'll Be There (Jackson Five)
3. Man In The Mirror
4. Black Or White
5. She's Out Of My Life

Agh, and I want 'I Just Can't Stop Loving You' in there too.

Rassles said...

Responding to comments, I feel, is something that is soooooooo February.

No offense, guys.

Kitty: I also don't believe Jackson's a pedophile.

Sid: Work it.

Gypsy: Also, work it.

ML: No top ten. Must be top five. Top ten is too easy. Bare essentials, here. Also run-on sentences.

Brian: I was just telling my friends about how a Michael Jackson kick always naturally progresses into a Van Halen kick. It's science. And the Apostle? How 1998 of you. Or was it 1997? Damn it, I usually know these things. That movie was way better than I thought it would be.

K and E: You're entitled, but I think you're crazy for it.

Boomer: Fucking seriously, best. tattoo. idea. ever.

Red: See? MJ brings people together.

RF: I said it before, and I'll say it again: You had me at Tag Larkin. Anyone who tries to tell me you're not awesome is going to get an earful of fist.

Schmee: Did you hear that Huey Lewis is playing on the fourth and not the fifth? Ruins my life.

Meems: MoLinder the Roommate and I have frequently discussed that very thought. Paul deserves the rights to his own shit. And we've noticed that there are several different types of MJ fans. There are those that know about Sir Paul, those that don't know about Sir Paul, and those that don't care because they think MJ is a pedophile.

Thanny: I have a habit of it, surprisingly.

Nikki: Dude, dead people are so lame!

Mr. London: Zing?

Hellbilly: Look at you, with your own screen name and shit. And as far as those pants are great. Everyone's got their favorite Michael, and I have to say: mine is Shiny Stripes Disco Michael.

Mongo: I really don't care about Farrah Fawcett. She did nothing for me other than set up impossible standards of beauty. Whore.

Ginny: Sometimes, when I'm lonely, I play "Ben" and cry. You think I'm kidding.

Hives: Hard, but necessary. There is one rule for a top five list. There must be five and only five.

Ellie: People don't care about Michael Jackson? That's just crazy talk.


KIFR: Well of course I give a shit, but it's an angry, angry drunken shit inspired by people yelling at me for thinking that Jackson isn't a pedophile. And those things are actually very, very, very important to me, which is why I'm so angry about them.
For example, not discussing certain things: I don't believe such discussions are indecent or impolite, but because I feel like if someone does something for attention and I think it's obnoxious, I don't want to give them my attention. Does that make sense? And then I get drunk, and write ranting blogs.

A Free Man said...

That's one of the things I like about your blog - that you don't tell me all about American fucking Idle. In that spirit, I'm not making a list.

Blues said...

WAit, forget the link I gave you on the last comment, it was a stupid edit. Watch this one, check out around minute 8:00 and I dare you not to break out in dance on the spot. Because it's like almost impossible.

Beat it is my favorite song to do Karaoke to.


Pretty Young thing.

Billie Jean.

Alright, not cheating this time and adding runner ups, but it's really hard.

Rassles said...

Freeman: Boat floating and such.

Blues: God, I love Smooth Criminal too. Listing things is really hard. But that's the price we have to pay.