Tuesday, June 9, 2009

You Can't Call Your Own Life A Legend, Anyway.

This is going to be a weekend of legend. I said shit would be epic, and there is some serious epic shit going down. We're setting the world record for the biggest pie fight. There's going to be Guinness officials there and everything. And then after getting all good and smeary in the afternoon, I've got to book it back to Chicago for the World Naked Bike Ride. I ain't gonna be naked, but I know about 1,500 other people will be. Work. It.

Oh, nevermind. That's right. I almost forgot. I'm not going to be doing those things, because Poppy died last night, and I have a wake and funeral to attend.

Asshole. I saw him on Sunday because I thought my dad would have a heart attack if I didn't, and I looked at him laying there and thought, "Oh, shit. He's going to die, and I'm not gonna be able to do the fucking Pie Fight."

Is it bad that I would rather not go? That I would rather hang out with friends who actually give a shit about me, doing things that I've been excited about for months? That the only reason I'm even considering going is because I cannot stand the thought of disappointing my dad?

I am about ninety-seven percent sure that I want to get drunk.

...

22 comments:

Betsey Booms said...

It's not bad to feel that way.

However, I think you're lying.

You know you are at least 98% sure you want to get drunk.

MoLinder said...

meh - you don't chose your relatives so it's ok to want to do the pie fight instead of going through the various rites to send poppy on his way. (the pie fight is going to be amazing!)
and you know that you're really doing the funeral/wake for your father.

The Ambiguous Blob said...

I skipped my grandpa's funeral and I really liked him. I think funerals are not as good as liverals. Yeah. Liverals.
It's where you dedicate a day of living big to the dead guy.
Go throw pies in Poppy's honor.

Gypsy said...

I don't think it's bad that you don't want to go. I don't think I'd want to go, either. But sometimes you just gotta, right?

Mia Watts said...

You know, you could always do the legendary weekend anyway. Just, like, every couple hours or every time you down a shot, shout, "For you Poppy." And everyone will totally believe it's what he would have wanted you to do.

Logical Libby said...

Maybe you could throw pies at the funeral. You know, liven things up a bit...

Rassles said...

No matter what, I'm hanging out with my dad. It's really not even about Poppy.

formerly fun said...

You have to go. It's all about your dad because no matter how cantankerous Poppy was, your dad is now without a father. It's so your dad can look around at you guys when he's there contemplating all the stuff that people do at funerals and know he is not that guy. But I'm still 100% behind the drinking. Plus pies ok, if you're eating one. All the midwestern funerals I've been to had a fuck lot of food. Why everybody eats so much around them, maybe it's kind of like, well I'm a little sad but I can still eat this ham sandwich right? I gained 4 pounds at my grandpas. Everytime one of my relatives said something asinine, I just shoved another deviled egg into my mouth so I couldn't get myself in trouble talking.

Ginny said...

Aw crap on a cracker, Poppy, nice timing! If you're worried about feeling like an arse for being resentful about having to trade nude biking for a funeral, should I feel like an arse for being excited to hear crazy family funeral stories?

Condolences to your dad. And you.

Ellie said...

Sounds like maybe he timed 'the whole thing' ... anyway, like Libby said, maybe you can throw pies at the funeral and ride a unicycle in the buff?

daisyfae said...

funerals aren't for the dead. damn. poppy was a shitweasel to the end...

but i'm with ginny... know there will be some family drama, weeepin' and waaaailin' stories, and just perhaps a little toying with a corpse (maybe putting an Obama pin on him in the casket or something...)

hereinfranklin said...

Oh that sucks. Sorry for your dad and for your fucked up weekend. Like my FIL says, funerals are never convenient.

Mongoliangirl said...

Hey you...sorry to hear about Poppy.
And no, it's not bad.
I've attended all kinds of funerals of someone I didn't even know as a way to support someone who was sad. I think it's a nice thing to do.

Gwen said...

Rassles - the things I thought when my sister was dying and then dead would make your stomach feel sick. My point is that we don't always feel and think the "right" things. I'm not even sure if right if the correct word there. But obviously you had some awesome plans and now you have to forgo those plans to go to the funeral of a man you didn't really like. Of course you feel irritated. I think it says a lot for how much you love and respect your dad that you're willing to sacrifice a rad weekend to go to a boring funeral where you'll have to pretend to be sad. Is it possible for you to just make an appearance at the funeral, fake being overcome with grief and sadness, so much so that you "have to go home and lie down". Then you could go do the things you really want to do without hurting anybody's feelings. I'm evil. But that's what I would do.

renalfailure said...

Bring a flask. Hell, bring two flasks. Anyone says anything, you reply "You mourn your way, I'll fucking mourn mine." And then get drunk.

Nikki B. said...

sorry for your family's loss...that sucks!

you know what else sucks...funerals!

everything about them sucks. sitting around with a goddamn dead body in the room has to be the suckingest thing about them. that's just fucking gross!!!

i get that the pressure is to go to be supportive to family who DO like to sit in the room with dead bodies...but, UGH!! i hate the bloody obligation of it all...

and everyone saying, "oh, look at him...doesn't he look so good!" WTF??

"NO HE DOESN'T LOOK GOOD...HE'S DEAD...may i be excused to fight with pie and observe the genitals of thousands of people bouncing on bicycle seats??"

dammit, poppy!!

Le Meems said...

Hang out with your dad. Spend the night. Be with him. Sneak off to the pie fight, take awesome photos, go back to your dad.

It's best to leave him unattended whilst many people are around to be entertained and fed at the funeral and wake. Best to be with your dad at lonely night and morning.

thecheekofgod said...

Not much to add here, except for my condolences . . .

~Mountain Lover~ said...

well, this isn't exactly the same, but I went on a vacation instead of my grandpa's funeral.

Can you do both?

did you do both?

I'm sorry for your loss- I know it doesn't seem like a big deal or anything, but not really so much the loss of poppy, but more of the what should have/could have been. Like a grandpa that made a big deal about you because you deserve that.

Red said...

Considering what you've told us about your relationship with Poppy, no one's surprised that you don't want to go. But it's good to be there for your dad. I'll say a prayer for you guys.

Kitty said...

"No matter what, I'm hanging out with my dad. It's really not even about Poppy."

Such an honest post, most people don't have the balls to admit they would rather be at a pie fight.

The choice you made in the end shows what you are made of Rassles. It is really about being there for your dad.

You are so smart and have a strong character.

I am sorry for your family's loss.

Blues said...

you feel how you feel. It isn't anything, it just IS.

It's just about your Dad and that's it, but I'm sorry that it's that way.

How do people end up having people feel that way about them when they die? Jesus I hope I don't get it wrong like that.

Now that the weekend's over, I hope it wasn't too shitty.