I don't want to get all preemptively combative here, because I'm just trying to let off steam, I'm trying to put stuff out so I can lose it, so it's gone, push that irrationality out the window so I don't have to think about it anymore. Now everyone knows up front. I don't want to talk about it, I don't want to be coddled or comforted. So please, please, please understand: I don't want anyone to try and make me feel better.
There's a substantial amount of comfort to be had in just letting loose. Writing stuff like this to myself, in a diary - I did that for years. But putting it out here on the internet is a much better release, because it's public, now people know. Now it's not an absurd secret that I flip over and over in my head, kneading it to an unrecognizable mass. It's a fact now. It exists.
So much easier to let go of bullshit burdens when you're not the only one that thinks about it, at least in your head. Other people probably think the same thing, but it's inward, isn't it, I can't see their brains. But if I let mine out, and two people read it, there's two people that know my secret.
It's really is not much of a secret anyway, it's not a good secret or an important one. But you know, when you have thoughts that you obsess over, and you let someone know, and then you don't obsess as much? It's like that.
So I'm just warning any readers out there who might care: That's what the next post is going to be about.