Monday, July 6, 2009

Oh, The Heart of Rock and Roll Is Totally Still Beating.

It's strong and it's sudden.

My bladder is cruel, sometimes. I can't hold it in much longer. "Dude, I gotta pee so bad."

The Smith Sister glances at me, sympathetic, and offers, "My mom would tell you to just not think about that whole like...area."

"But that's so hard--I mean, with Huey Lewis right there, on the stage."

She laughs big and coughy and raises her hand. "Okay, nice. Up high. That right there? You get a high five for that."

I fucking love high fives, I don't know why. I will never, ever turn down a high five. I love their cheesiness, I love the douchey, simple, sporting camaraderie they signify.

Huey Lewis is like the musical equivalent of the high five.

"I just want to give him a big fucking hug," I sigh.

"A naked hug."

"Well he's just so dreamy."

"Ahhhh, the power of love."

"I WANT YOU TO BE MY DAD!"

This stupid ass concert is going to make me hoarse, and I really, really can't hold it in much longer.





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36 comments:

sid said...

I want you to be my dad?

Rassles said...

I have no idea. Sometimes I open my mouth and all this ridiculous shit comes out of it.

Rassles said...

It didn't even occur to me how fucked up that sounded until just now.

You know that I don't really have a thing for Huey, right? It's just fun to pretend?

We then all talked about how Huey would make the best dad ever.

Rassles said...

Gaahhhh, but I love that band.

Stop talking to no one, Rass. Jeepers. You are freaking people out.

Le Meems said...

Rass, it's hip to be square.

The Ambiguous Blob said...

I high five everyone and just yesterday, proclaimed that I wanted to hug my host's neighbor in a naked way. We so have to hang out.

hereinfranklin said...

I remember driving to Florida with a friend one summer and hearing The Power of Love ninety bajillion times.

Sarah said...

I fucking love high fives! So few people are willing to do them anymore. Asshats. I will never turn down a high five either Rass.

Logical Libby said...

You know, Huey put his penis on display in the '90s movie Short Cuts. It is a wonder to behold.

Gwen said...

One of my favorite songs ever made is by Huey Lewis and The News: "Do You Believe in Love?" Yes, Yes, I do, Huey.

Del-V said...

The music for Back to the Future kind of sounded like some of his other music... but you can say that about the Beatles too.

daisyfae said...

summerfest? did you see him at summerfest last week?

elvis last night. front row. SCHWING!

Mongoliangirl said...

High five for the Hughster!

Blues said...

Leave it to Rassles to remind me of pop culture icons that I haven't thought of in FOREVAH.

Oh and Huey is totally a high five. He's just got good vibes all around.

Nikki B. said...

never EVER leave the band to go pee...the last time i did that i was kicked in the ass by a vertically challenged man who probably had a smallish dick...

so, new rule...hold it until you bust...it ain't worth it!!

mystery word down below is "shetical" it think that should be a word, i'm working on the context and am open to suggestions, but it has a nice ring to it!

renalfailure said...

How much do I love Huey Lewis? Type his name into my Renal archive search and see. Huey is the king of kings over at the Failure.

Mae December said...

sooo who is this guy?

*ducks*

Hi5's are fucking badass.

They are not douchey. "Props" are douchey. They're all "I'm too cool to highfive so let's knock fists which is very badass".

...Of course I knock fists sometimes too. So whateva.

ZenMom said...

Well, if you really love Huey with your Heart and Soul, then denying your bladder-y urges is a demonstration of the Power of Love. If he's smart, Huey would be Happy to be Stuck With You.

formerly fun said...

Sadly I don't heart Huey but I like Toto, you know Rosanna? Africa? Huey is cute though, most of Toto look like aging porn stars.

Mia Watts said...

"Look away, baby, look away. Don't look at me, I don't want you to see me this waaaa-aaayyyy."

*sigh*

Betsey Booms said...

True story: I'm totally interviewing a guy next week whose last name is...

Oh shit.

This is awesome.

Stiles!

Red said...

"Don't need no credit card to ride this train." Huey and the boys are fun. I totally have FORE! on LP.

Elvis is awesome, though. I high;y recommend him if you ever get the chance.

Erin said...

Every time, EVERY TIME I try to high-five, I fuck it up. Every single time.

Chris said...

I do the high two, I mumble go team venture.

My secret shame.

That and superfluous nipple.

A Free Man said...

Not cool in 1986. Not cool now.

Kiefer and Emo said...

sorry to say... er... no. I always thought he said "the heart of rock and roll is the beatin'."

See, a misheard lyric leads to abject rejection. Earth. heh.

Not Afraid to Use It said...

His was one of the first records I got as a present. I heart him mucho.

Rassles said...

Meems: And I am both hip and square.

Tabbie: Dude. Totally.

Franklin: My favorite will always be the Heart of Rock and Roll. Because of DTV music videos. Yeah. I said it.

Sarah: High five!

Libby: Don't you think I haven't seen Short Cuts. Love Robert Altman.

Gwen: Oh, you bet I can believe it too.

Del-V: Um, since when are we arguing his actual musical talent and prowess? It's really irrelevant, when it comes to loving something.

Daisy: Ribfest.

Mongo: Up high...down low...too slow.

Blues: He's very warm and fuzzy.

Nikki: I left just before that last song. I was sweating so bad, I don't think I would have noticed if I'd pissed myself or not.

RF: See, I knew I liked you. Huey is the king of all Failure, really.

Mae: I am going to post all of these links on your blog to Huey songs, and you're going to be all, "Oh, that song?" You've heard all of his music and you don't even know it. He's almost as important to movie soundtracks as Kenny fucking Loggins.

Zen: The whole time I was talking to myself, thinking at my bladder, "Okay, if this is it, please let me know. If I can't hold it in, bladder, just say so."

FF: Toto totally played "Human Nature" with Michael Jackson. That's why it's so smooth.

Mia: But isn't that Chicago? Huey did record with them sometimes, though, since Cetera is such a fucking toolbox.

BOOOOOOOOMMMMMERRRRRR: OMFG

Red: Well, of course Elvis is awesome. What does Elvis have to do with Huey?

Erin: We should practice. Internetically.

Chris: GO TEAM VENTURE (duh duh duh duh duh)

Freeman: Blasphemer.

K and E: Don't worry, I misunderstand lyrics all the time. Own it. Make that song your bitch. I am unapologetic about pretending I know things that I don't know. Do it all the time.

NATUI: I have "Sports." And a greatest hits I made myself. Oh, Huey. You slay me.

Le Meems said...

I used to be a renegade, I used to fool around
But I couldn't take the punishment, and had to settle down
Now I'm playing it real straight, and yes I cut my hair
You might think I'm crazy, but I don't even care
Because I can tell what's going on
It's hip to be square
I like my bands in business suits, I watch them on TV
I'm working out most everyday and watching what I eat
They tell me that it's good for me, but I don't even care
I know that it's crazy
I know that it's nowhere
But there is no denying that
It's hip to be square
It's not too hard to figure out, you see it everyday
And those that were the farthest out have gone the other way
You see them on the freeway, It don't look like a lot of fun
But don't you try to fight it; "An idea who's time has come."
Don't tell me that I'm crazy
Don't tell me I'm nowhere
Take it from me
It's hip to be square

Le Meems said...

you must know my full name by now, girl. add me on the devil aka fb. I have some things to show you.

heh heh muuuuuuaaaah hahahaha

The Ambiguous Blob said...

Ok, so I'll take your response as a contract in agreement for hanging out with me.
So that's settled. Oh, and I'm throwing my good friend Melissa into the contract as well.
Chicago, here we come.

Organic Meatbag said...

Did you want a new drug when this was over? One that won't make you sick? I work with a guy that totally looks like Huey Lewis' drummer...hahahaha

Mia Watts said...

Yeah you're right, they're Chicago and I always mix them up because in my head they have the same sound. But I did like the beginning of Heart of RocknRoll with the beating. I always felt naughty listening to that song as a kid.

Ellie said...

Oh, my Jesus Christ. Huey Lewis is still doing concerts? And the youth, you ... are going?! I agree with A Free Man.

I have only now started doing not-very-high high fives. Turns out Brits like to give me high fives. It makes them feel all free and un-stuffy.

I agree the Huey is like a high five. Cheesy and cringe worthy.

You are a liberated lass!

Mia Watts said...

Where are you?

Love Bites said...

need. new. posts.