So this one time I got drunk.
It was ridiculous.
It happened like what? Ten minutes ago? I amdrinking water right now.
Not the night itself, just the drunkensess. Drunken-ness. Whatever.
I try to be goo d at typing, and sometiems I fail. Fuck you for judging me.
Me and Phil just played moose with vodka instead dof beer and let me tell you, it is a good time. No, no it's not. I do not recommend undertaking such endeavors. It is not a good time. My head hurtsk amd my fucking trachea or muy windpiped...lungs? Whatever, I 've got goddamn heartburn because moose is not meant for vodka. And I had like, what? three shots? SALLY. I mean granted, been drinking for hours. Like eight of them. Who's counting? Fucking sesame street draculas, that's who. Sheep and ceraeal and horsehit.
BUT on the plus side, I will rememerb this. I know because I am typing, and I rememvber my words, even though I might not be
You know what? Fuck you for judging. It was Soger's birthday and we went to this piano bar which was horseshit. REally, I mean, if you're going to boast your game and promote dueling pianos (fuck you backspace) thend shouldn't you at least have learned the dueling banjos ON THE PIANO? I am bery upest here.
I have just decided that the creaters of Strawberry shortcake (the fucking cartoon, not the delicious dessert) decided to make her say "berry" instead of "very" because they used typewriters or something and they kept on hitting B instead of V fand it confused the fuck out of them. Then they definitely sat around and debating using hte typewriter equivalent of white-out, which we all know is that stupid ass correction tape that comes out of those little dispensers that are actually quite adorable, but not necessarily fun to use because they look like little tiny movie projectors BUT THERE ARE NO MOVIES TO BE HAD and it's totally false adversiting.
Ajnd that is what I have deicided.
Fuck you for judging.
By the way, I am awesome at moose, and I am prolly gonna get ordained so I can marry people. By "prolly" I mean "definistely" and by "definitely" I mean "dude so many people want me to marry them in the ministerial capacity it's not even funny." self high five. Insert archaic reference HERE. Do not be mistaken, I speak not of courtship. I speak of a ujniversal understaing amongste everyone that I am the authority, and the conjoining of their business is unofficial until I have deemed it so.
Also, there are very importnant thigs to be done, like sleeping and sending out drunken emails, wchich I actaully regret abstaining from last weekend because you know what? Abstinence is bullshit. All it gives you is low-self esteem and an overall feeling of ugly worthlessness. For realsies.
Also, I misuse hyphens. Apparently.