Because of Erin, I took this ridiculous 485-question personality matrix thing to determine what jobs properly suit my personality.
Why do I do this? Personality quizzes are my fucking crack.
Yes, I seek answers in life by trying to jam myself into a category that was probably created by some old man sitting at an electric typewriter in his underwear with an opium lamp and a wicked grin. Yes, I talk about quizzes all the time. Why? It's the only good thing about Facebook (I think my favorite was: WHAT KIND OF BAD ASS FUCKING AWESOME DINOSAUR/WEAPON COMBO ARE YOU?).
Either way, basically, I love personality assessment crap, sitting around and analyzing the semantics of every sentence (I am familiar with the seduction of the couch! And I totally only succeed by the sheer force of my personality rather than actual skills! I would be riding a Velociraptor wielding a flaming sword! OMG I do eat food!) probably because...I don't know.
Because they always tell me that I'm fucking awesome, and I crave impartial validation.
So either way, I took this thing and was given the Top Three jobs that suit me, and I had to go and dick around with the other 300 jobs on the list to determine my top ten.
Okay. Ready? Here we go, in order of compatibility:
1. Criminal Investigator/Detective
2. Corrections Officer
8. Loan Officer
So then I tried to sit around and pick apart what all of these things said about me because I am a ridiculous human being and I like to think I'm insightful. Cuz I'm an ENFP. Or sometimes an ENTP which means I AM insightful, and I don't just THINK I am. Hrrrm.
We learn, based on the job results listed above, the following: I value manners and respect, but not morals and authority. Extroverted, but not always friendly. Want to help people out of obligation rather than sympathy. Easily irritated but very hard to offend. Can work under pressure (this is arguable. It would be more accurate to say that I finish what I start, although lately? I haven't been finishing anything. LAME). Interested in others. Am not afraid of you or them, but I am afraid of me. Apparently I'm also interested in vaginas.
Speaking of vaginas, you like how creators of this quiz group fixin' the lady bits with fixin' the streets, the criminals, the insane, the broke, and the godless?
So many layers.
Also, I demand that everyone take more personality quizzes and tell me your results. You are exempt if I made you do it before. And if you don't like your result, I will take it for you and get a way fucking better answer because I mean come on people, do I have to fucking figure everything out for myself?