Thursday, July 22, 2010

I AM INCEPTING IDEAS INTO YOUR MINDS

So I've decided that I need something, anything, to distinguish my blog from others. Somehow. Basically, I need a header image.

And as bullshit as it sounds, I want you guys to help me. Please. I have zero confidence in aesthetics. Mostly because people are constantly telling me ridiculous shit like, "you like weird, ugly, gnarly things."

I disagree.

I like things that are bad ass.

What I really want is something no one else has. Because I have individuality issues.

Schmee had a brilliant idea at one point, that I should ask all of our friends to drunkenly draw on napkins at the bar, and use those for an image. The problem with that lies in actually getting people to do it before they're distracted by Jager bombs or something.

So I mocked up some header images to give you guys an idea about the kind of thing I'm looking for*. I am neither artiste nor digital genius. I only have MS paint and a crappy scanner to work with, here. You guys, I'm sure, have all sorts of niftly gadgets that make your lives easier and more arty.

Will you, will you, will you help me? Fuckers? Please? Draw something on a napkin and email to me or something. You're writers, you're creative, you can come up with ideas. Paint me a sonnet. You can do it, right?

Of course I am right. I am always right.

Do I want a sign like that, or like a forest of out-of-focus beer bottles? But I like movies better than beer (I can't believe I just admitted that) so yeah. What about like, a film reel? No, too overdone. I could get a tattoo with the blog title, take a picture of it, and use that as a header. I'm just trying to incept some ideas here, people. Work with me.

Speaking of inception...I am all up in that movie. Nolan and I aren't fighting anymore, which is a good thing, because I was really worried that we would have to break up, and he's so dreamy. Anyway, all is right with the world because his dreams are way different from my dreams, because I have like, Trojan horsebirds with doorknobs, and it's like this Russian doll of worlds - which is similar to Nolan, but different enough. Next up on things that I'm worried will ruin my book even though they came out in 2006? Special**.

* If you're familiar with Chicago...do you recognize the second one? Because it's modeled after the greatest sign in the city.

**Michael Rappaport seriously needs to be in more movies. If I ever get to pick all the actors I want in the movie that I'm writing in my brain, he'd be in it. Him, Joseph Gordon Levitt, Harvey Keitel, Jack Nicholson, Jeff Bridges, Elliot Gould (I am obsessed with Elliot Gould), Sam Rockwell, and Chris Pine. There. It's like a fucking dream. Can Jackson Publick act? I want him too. All I need is women***, but I don't want to think about that right now.

***Okay, I got my actresses in my fake movie that I haven't written: Sigourney Weaver, Summer Glau (in my head, Summer Glau is young Sigourney. Don't fight it.) Frances McDormand, Rosario Dawson, Claire Danes, Joan Allen, Freema Agyeman (bitch needs to get off British TV and into movies where more people can be in awe of her), Katee Sackhoff, and Emily Deschanel.

...

Now I want your dream cast. GO.

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23 comments:

Chamuca said...

I'm glad you're gonna fix up your blog. Sorry I can't help you though. I just stole an pic from Google images to use as my header.

Wait . . .that must be why you were looking at Google images earlier today. Ha.

OG said...

This is not my forte, I can only draw squares and triangles. Good luck.

Ellie said...

You are accusing us of having gadgets????!

I like the first one. Probably b/c I like the way it fits in with the colour scheme. You probably did that shit on purpose.

If I doodle it will be with you in mind, however, time is short. x

Jessica said...

what is the second one from? at first i thought ed debevics or something, but i googled it and it's not that at all. ah! it's driving me crazy.

could you have one where the film reel is in the background but subtle, not noticeable on first glance, and then beer bottles in foreground.

Rassles said...

Car Town. Google "Car Town Chicago."

Rassles said...

But I changed it up a little. Looked too much like a sally-faced treble clef.

renalfailure said...

Tag Larkin will have to be CGI, but he will be voiced by the Old Spice Guy. "Hello ladies..."

Logical Libby said...

Here's my header...

"Sometimes I Make Lists :)"

I hope you like it.

sid said...

Hmmm. I'm actually going to try and come up with a header but I'm not terribly ... creative.


Have to agree with you on Joseph Gordon Levitt. How about Ricky Gervais, from The Office (British version).

Kono said...

how about you just photo shop an old picture of someone lying on a shrink's couch, while maybe the shrink makes a list, or something like that i didn't smoke any dope this morning so i'm not as creative as i should be and i mean that header as a compliment just in case you were confused, i'd draw you something but the only thing i ever draw are naked women with no arms or heads(cuz faces and arms are hard to draw), so we know now who really needs the shrink.

Rassles said...

All of you are fucking worthless.

Rassles said...

Except for Libby.

nursemyra said...

And Kono

nursemyra said...

My imaginary movie only has two people in it. Me and Harvey Keitel

formerly fun said...

Ever been over to okayfinedammit? I like maggie's header and I think you could do something similar only in that you take a pic of you doing something you usually do or somewhere you do it. Like you with a bunch of beer bottles makin' some lists.

I do like the faded beer bottle idea. Or maybe a rotation of actual lists of yours, kind of faded out but readable with something static overlayed, like you makin' the lists.

Your welcome:)

btw, my wv is revions which if it isn't a word, should be.

MaeDecember said...

I am on this shit.

I just spent a week designing shit for myself. It's fucking hard.

I'm going to send you stuff, and you're not gonna like it, but I don't give a fuck cuz it gives me shit to do.

brb.

gyna said...

i vote leather duster

Rassles said...

Maybe I should draw a picture of someone confessing to a shrink while the shrink draws a picture of me pointing at a sign wearing a leather duster.

Rassles said...

But the whole thing is fuzzy because I am drunk. Yes?

gyna said...

oooor just a leather duster. getting shot at. with bullets.

and sadly i am not drunk.

Rassles said...

Well, I'm not drunk right now. I am in the picture. You see? BRILLIANCE.

Blues said...

I am shit when it comes to graphics and, well, originality.

My header is from a photo found on flickr.com I just typed in words and checked the creative commons box and started looking at shit. But it's not really original since someone else took it, but whateves.

I thought you wanted a picture of a dive bar? I liked that idea.

Loved the movie Special. I gave some thought to my cast but the only one I can think of is Adrien Brody and that's because I would want him to fall in love with me like during breaks and shit.

Kitty said...

I love your first graphic in this post. It works, use it.

Dream cast? Clare Danes and Gerard Way. The rest can be new people because I get sick of the same people in movies and there's room to give struggling actors a break.