So I've decided that I need something, anything, to distinguish my blog from others. Somehow. Basically, I need a header image.
And as bullshit as it sounds, I want you guys to help me. Please. I have zero confidence in aesthetics. Mostly because people are constantly telling me ridiculous shit like, "you like weird, ugly, gnarly things."
I like things that are bad ass.
What I really want is something no one else has. Because I have individuality issues.
Schmee had a brilliant idea at one point, that I should ask all of our friends to drunkenly draw on napkins at the bar, and use those for an image. The problem with that lies in actually getting people to do it before they're distracted by Jager bombs or something.
So I mocked up some header images to give you guys an idea about the kind of thing I'm looking for*. I am neither artiste nor digital genius. I only have MS paint and a crappy scanner to work with, here. You guys, I'm sure, have all sorts of niftly gadgets that make your lives easier and more arty.
Will you, will you, will you help me? Fuckers? Please? Draw something on a napkin and email to me or something. You're writers, you're creative, you can come up with ideas. Paint me a sonnet. You can do it, right?
Of course I am right. I am always right.
Do I want a sign like that, or like a forest of out-of-focus beer bottles? But I like movies better than beer (I can't believe I just admitted that) so yeah. What about like, a film reel? No, too overdone. I could get a tattoo with the blog title, take a picture of it, and use that as a header. I'm just trying to incept some ideas here, people. Work with me.
Speaking of inception...I am all up in that movie. Nolan and I aren't fighting anymore, which is a good thing, because I was really worried that we would have to break up, and he's so dreamy. Anyway, all is right with the world because his dreams are way different from my dreams, because I have like, Trojan horsebirds with doorknobs, and it's like this Russian doll of worlds - which is similar to Nolan, but different enough. Next up on things that I'm worried will ruin my book even though they came out in 2006? Special**.
* If you're familiar with Chicago...do you recognize the second one? Because it's modeled after the greatest sign in the city.
**Michael Rappaport seriously needs to be in more movies. If I ever get to pick all the actors I want in the movie that I'm writing in my brain, he'd be in it. Him, Joseph Gordon Levitt, Harvey Keitel, Jack Nicholson, Jeff Bridges, Elliot Gould (I am obsessed with Elliot Gould), Sam Rockwell, and Chris Pine. There. It's like a fucking dream. Can Jackson Publick act? I want him too. All I need is women***, but I don't want to think about that right now.
***Okay, I got my actresses in my fake movie that I haven't written: Sigourney Weaver, Summer Glau (in my head, Summer Glau is young Sigourney. Don't fight it.) Frances McDormand, Rosario Dawson, Claire Danes, Joan Allen, Freema Agyeman (bitch needs to get off British TV and into movies where more people can be in awe of her), Katee Sackhoff, and Emily Deschanel.
Now I want your dream cast. GO.