(Scene: An office. Friday afternoon. Three twenty-something girls are chatting in the "break room," but none of them call it that. About two years ago one of these ladies (that means me, a-holes) changed the room's Caller ID to "The Oreo Lounge," no one else in the office knew how to work the phones to change it back. She considers this a personal victory. Back then, there were fuckloads of Oreos, like, all the time. Which is weird, because back then she was thinner. She is now considering an all-Oreo diet. She remembers how well the Oreos softened when she dipped them in her coffee (The Oreo Lounge was always out of milk). Those were some delicious fucking Oreos. Perhaps a trip to CVS is in order. Oooo--and white cheddar Cheez-Its. Those need to happen.)
Nat: I just like, you know, being spontaneous. Like Howie is way more down to earth about stuff, but I'm like hey, you know, let's go out to dinner, let's see a movie, let's do something! But all he wants to do is watch baseball.
C-Bird: Same thing with Eric, but instead of just like, going out, we've got team conflict.
C-Bird: (she rolls her eyes) He's a Cubs fan. (the co-workers nod in understanding. Nat sucks in a breath)
Rassles: (taking a sip of her coffee) I like him.
C-Bird: You would.
Rassles: You guys are so brave. You're like a sixties bi-racial couple. Will your children be raised to be snobs or racists?
Nat: What's that? Cubs or Sox?
(Rassles nods, gravely)
C-Bird: I can't even think about that right now.
Nat: I think she'll teach her kids to be more open-minded about which team they choose. Things aren't always in Cubs or Sox. Sometimes you gotta hit that-uh-Bear middle ground.
(The three girls laugh a little, and do that thing where they simultaneously sigh out "yeah," and then they politely laugh again.)
C-Bird: Still, getting him to go out with my friends is like herding cats.
Rassles: I love that phrase. But I like to substitute "cats" with "hamsters." I support alliteration.
C-Bird: (completely ignoring her) It's like we're settling into this routine.
Nat: Yeah. Come home, work out, eat dinner, watch TV, sleep.
C-Bird: Lather, rinse, repeat. Everything gets so boring. Let's shake it up a little, you know?
(A man sticks his head into the Oreo Lounge)
Thomacz: Ladies! I've just been off the phone with Action Man. He has given us permission to leave work around two this afternoon, provided the mail has arrived.
Rassles: Thank you, sir.
Nat: I knew it.
Thomasz: You ladies are very welcome. (he pops back out to go spread the news to other co-workers)
Rassles: Yeah buddy. (she turns to her co-workers) We should totally celebrate and grab a drink or something. An off-work-early drink of awesomeness.
C-Bird: Yeah, I prolly should just get home. I told Eric that I thought we were getting off early, and we were gonna grab an early dinner.
Nat: Yeah, I can't either. I gotta work out.
Rassles: You work out every night.
Nat: Well, if you've got a schedule you stick to it.
So much for fucking spontaneity.