I've found that whenever I feel like I've been sewn together from incompatible parts, I just boldly emphasize the utter weakness of stuff that holds me together in the most confrontational way possible. Suddenly, for the first time like ever, I'm starting to think that aggressive transparency is kind of unhealthy because I'm constantly reminding myself of my mediocrity. I guess I just figure it's better not to lie about it, right, and make sure everyone knows right away how average I am.
But I think pointing out how mediocre I am all the time is the lie, because I know I'm not average and mediocre. I know I am different, because people treat me differently than they treat other people. This isn't a scale of better or worse, it doesn't involve ethics, health, likability or any of that. It's just that sometimes I make people nervous, and sometimes people think everything about me is a fucking joke.
And sometimes I come to shocking realizations about my effect on people, because I keep on having conversations with dudes where they express interest in courtship immediately followed by mentioning their own very serious psychological disorders.