Apparently yesterday was Draw a Dinosaur Day and I didn't get the fucking memo. It sounds like the most asinine thing I've ever heard of, but far cooler than Talk Like a Pirate Day because I've never been very piratey and I've always been very terrible-lizardy.
You should see me at the Field Museum: it is my meth. I just creep around, twisted and cranked and ready to burst in a euphoric fury of rushing, chatty blood, suddenly expertly obsessed with every -ology they got cased up in there. Honestly, any guy that asks me to go to the Field Museum with him will be gettin some, or at least fling himself into danger by being the victim of one of my soul-crushing crushes. Museums are so dreamy.
It's been a few months since I had a decent museum trip (and by "museum trip" I mean "museum trip," this isn't some sick, dinosaur-induced analogous reference to "doing it" (and by "doing it" I mean "doing it")) and I'm thinking about just heading over to the Field this weekend (which I have been saying for weeks) because it's my favorite museum in the world. Ever. All other museums are barren, dank, desolate establishments, and the Field Museum is the sun. It's the place against which I judge all other houses of artifact.
I understand that in most internet lists created by professional museum analysts (because if it's on the internet, it must be true) the Field Museum doesn't even crack the top fifty. Most of them are art museums.
I don't give a shit how important your art is.
FACT 1: A museum without bones is not a real museum.
FACT 2: My art should be at the Field Museum. See above sketch for reference.
Argue with me all you want, my mind was made up twenty years ago. Best museums in the world, ready? GO.
1. Field Museum
2. National Museum of Ireland - Natural History
3. Creation Museum
Do not argue with me because I am right.
Okay, fine, argue with me. You are entitled to be wrong. But if you're going to spout off some shit about Jurassic Park and how the velociraptor was actually the size of a turkey and blahgiddy blah blah: duh. I know. I been to the Field Museum, bitches.
Edit: I don't know if you know this about me, but I have a gift: I can draw a decent sketch of anything. After doing this quick dinosaur...I miss drawing.