Friday, February 18, 2011

It's February. People Are Bound to Get Hurt.

So apparently growling, "I see yer a geologist now, ye bastard!" is not the appropriate way to congratulate a co-worker on her recent engagement, and even the further explanatory phrases of "geologist? rocks? precious stones? are you fucking engaged, or do I need to take my metaphors elsewhere?" aren't warranted.

There are two of them right now in the office. Engaged people. With fee-on-says. One question popped right after the fucking other with giggling and rings and sweet fucking Christ you should see the blood diamonds these guys dug up for my co-workers,.

I've been waiting for this day, when all my co-workers are married baby-makers, and not one of them asks when it's my turn to settle down.

So here's my question: is that because my co-workers are fairly progressive (because they are, and that's one of the reasons I like it here) and they know that people don't need to be married to be happy (not that I'm very happy - we all know I am an angry, confused, smashed little car crash)? Is it because they don't think I have a chance in hell of ever getting married in the first place? Is it because they don't give a shit about me or my relationship status?

I am far too insecure to be dealing with this right now.

What did you guys get for Valentines Day? I got bronchitis, a flat tire, a new mole, and a papercut on that skin between my thumb and my forefinger. Bullshit. Stupid February.

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21 comments:

Here In Franklin said...

I am amazed by the carat-age girls are carrying around on their fingers these days. Mine is petite.

Rassles said...

I can't even imagine having a diamond at all. Could I get an engagement jade dagger or something?

Rassles said...

Maybe not a dagger. I just went to the Field Museum (BOOYAH) and saw this in the Hall of Gems and thought, "That would be so much cooler than some bullshit wedding ring."

Here In Franklin said...

Ooooohhhhh, an engagement dragon!

gyna said...

i already told you the problem. makeup.

Rassles said...

AH HA! So there IS a problem! I was unaware there was a problem. I need outside sources to identify problems for me.

renalfailure said...

You're on to something... engagement weapons. Much more useful than a ring, and totally badass.

DiaryofWhy said...

I got a tummy ache from too much candy.

JMH said...

What did I get? That's the easier question. I got a valentine with a Cupid who looks a lot like a blond baby Bobby Moynihan. From my dad. That's weird and maybe sad, but man, if this cat going to emote over something, it's not going to be that. Yes, February is bad.

Jane said...

Engagement rings have always weirded me out. The expense of them just makes me uncomfortable, investing (sometimes) several thousand dollars in something that could easily be lost or stolen or broken or I could have some allergic reaction which causes my fingers to swell and the ring has to be cut off of my hand and then it's broken and ruined forever. (That actually happened to my mom's original engagement ring.) Also the fact that if it's a diamond, someone probably had to die so that I could have this obnoxious rock on my finger.

I've always said, and I still maintain, if a man asks me to marry him, it better not be with some obnoxious, expensive fucking diamond, because I will say no on principle. Jade is much cooler, especially if it's a dagger. Suh-weet!

Also: don't worry about them not asking you about settling down. It's much better not to be asked than to be constantly bugged about why you're not with anyone. I would venture to go with the "they're just progressive" option. Although, to be fair, I would totally be having the same thoughts you are, because I too am much too insecure to deal with that.

February is stupid and bullshit, you're right. Good thing it's the shortest month of the year. Bring on March, I say. March has Mardi Gras in it this year, and Mardi Gras is awesome. The End.

daisyfae said...

way back when - as in 'when i gave a shit' - i bought my own engagement ring. quarter carat diamond for $200. from a friend's dad... who sold diamond rings out of his RV when he visited her.

why? because i'd been living with my future husband for 2 years, and whenever our parents would get together, they'd spend hours apologizing to each other about our living arrangements.

so i bought the fucking rock to shut them up.

ahhh... romance...

Meagan said...

Valentines Day is idiotic, and I haven't done anything for it since middle school. I hate everything about February, except my husband's birthday is in February, so I'm not allowed to say the month sucks out loud (he totally knows it's true though). My engagement ring is/was peridot and lapis. I told him if he wasted ridiculous amounts of money on a diamond, I'd kick his ass. Engagement rings are generally boring anyway and they all freaking look the same, I really don't get how other women can spend so much time looking at them.

Kono said...

I got consolidated out of the best gig i ever had for Valentimes day... and i like February, it's bleak and cold and shitty just like life, fuck summer and all you happy fucking summer people... and while i'm at it fuck Mardi Gras too, the worst time of year to be in Nola unless of course you like the smell of vomit and piss and bubblegummers who can't handle their liquor. I wrote a Valentimes post just for your Razz. Well not really but if it makes you feel any better you can claim i did.

nursemyra said...

I got a pen! Can't remember ever getting a valentine's day present before......

formerly fun said...

At least you didn't get vd for v-Day.

I gotta big rock and I won't lie, I love it. It's shiny and when I'm hating too much on the patriarchy, it sparkles and distracts me until I forget how unfair it is to be a women sometimes. But I like the idea of engagement weapons, that way, instead o a divorce, you can just duel to the death. No marital property agreements, no lawyers, just last man standing.

Miss Ash Tuesday said...

I think it's rude when folks ask me about getting married/having babies.

I'm not getting married. I'm with a man, and I'm helping raise his kids.

I don't want a wedding. I don't want an engagement ring. A nice ring is fine and all, but I don't need everyone & their brother & the state to acknowledge my relationship.

So maybe I told a few folks off here and there when they asked. That's probably why they don't ask you. Sorry about that.

Sid said...

I got annoyed on V Day. Also, am I the only one that think's its funny that Valentine's Day can be abbreviated to VD (venereal disease)???

Rassles said...

RF: Also a symbol of trust. "If I leave you, stab me with this."

DoW: I did not even have candy. Why did I not have candy? Shit.

JMH: I got a holographic G-Force valentine. It's wicked shifty.

Jane: I used to think it was better not to be asked, but now I'm kind of insulted.

Daisy: Oh yes, giving a shit. I need to stop doing that. Way to circumvent the haters, by the way.

Meagan: Of course it's idiotic, but you can't really ignore it.

Kono: February is awful. January is the best month. January and October and May. And I agree with you, Nola is far more interesting outside of Mardi Gras, when it's not frat party USA.

Nurse: "I gave her my heart and she gave me a pen."

FF: It's always about last man standing. Marriage is Thunderdome and don't you forget it.

Miss Ash: I never told anyone off, because they always thought they were paying a compliment. "I can't believe you're single" they'd mean, because single people have something wrong with them. They're not asking. But I know there are things wrong with me, so...

Sid: Two of my friends played a show called "Get VD on VD with V and E: watch us play songs about STDs, withholding sex, and mutually abusive relationships." I wanted to go, but I had a flat tire and bronchitis.

Ginny said...

Le sigh. Firstly, I never want another diamond. Ever. I don't like the way it made me feel, what it said to the world, the way it made other people feel and react to me.

That being said, I am quite convinced no one asks you what your plans are because your awesomeness precedes you. Like a beacon.

Logical Libby said...

If you think the engaged ones are smug, wait until they get a sexually transmitted parasite. You would think they invented reproduction.

Blues said...

When Luis and I decided to get married there was no proposal. We were just like 'hey we should get married' and I was all 'what about the ring cuz dat shit be pounded into my brains yo' and he was all 'diamonds are dumb' and I was all 'what the fuck are you talking about'. But he won the argument and finally convinced me they were dumb.