Tuesday, February 22, 2011

Tsynq Yr

Dude, my bookshelves look awesome. It's the dawn of an arranging revolution. Much like John Cusack's flash organizational disclosure in High Fidelity -

"What is this, um chronological?"
"No."
"Not alphabetical..."
"No."
"Then what?"
"Autobiographical."
"No fucking way."
(and then hipsters across the world were overwrought once again with Cusack-induced orgasms of jealousy)

- I am changing the face of bookshelves. So get on that. But then today I googled, which is an inevitability of modern times. So I am not the first person to color-code their shit. Lame. Even worse, my shelves are puny compared to the libraries pictured. And I've got a shit-ton of books. Pre-0rganizing, though, I pulled out about 30 for donation. Do I really need a copy of Kierkegaard's Fear and Trembling? No, no I don't. But I cannot let go of Stinker From Space because it defines me as a person in ways only an intergalactic space warrior trapped in the body of a skunk and befriended by a dorky little girl can.

Maybe I should keep some of those books so people think I'm smart. No, because what if someone comes around and sees I read Kierkegaard and postulates ethics and the rationality of faith, and then I'm all like, "remember that part in Wayne's World when they're speaking Cantonese and Wayne's all, 'Was it Kierkegaard or Dick van Patton who said if you label me, you negate me?' That was awesome."

Because if you want me to be honest here (that's what I'm about: fucking honesty) the only reason I read Kierkegaard at all was because Wayne name-dropped the bastard in the first place. I think it's the only reason I ever watched an episode of Eight is Enough, at that. I do lots of things because of Wayne's World.

...

12 comments:

Kono said...

You my dear are the fucking bee's knees. nuff said.

ryan lawson said...

Perhaps I am colourblind with book-spines, but authors have to be organized together or I will go fucking mental.

Seriously.

All right, maybe I'll give it a shot. Yes, I am the suggestible type.

Rassles said...

I'm discovering relationships between books that I never knew existed.

renalfailure said...

It's because of Wayne's World that I know about Milwaukee, courtesy of a helpful Alice Cooper.

Jane said...

What Kono said. For serious. You're my new idol.

nursemyra said...

Have I told you about the time I tried to read Naked Lunch because a boy I admired said it was awesome?

I struggled through about thirty pages and there at the end of a chapter a previous reader had written "I'm surprised you got this far"

Can't tell you what colour the spine was because I consigned it straight to a charity bin

Here In Franklin said...

We have several bookshelves, most of which I claim as my own. However, the largest one is shared. His books on the left. Mine on the right and on the two middle shelves. It's easy to remember--I have Caleb Carr and he has "The History of Fungi."

daisyfae said...

ack. found this today at another blog... this is so cute it annoys.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cFnuP9niRUg&feature=player_embedded

Mister Crowley said...

So, do you come to Milwaukee often?

Chris said...

But if you do autobiographical, don't you need multiple copies of some? or is that just me, because I'm old. And forgetful. Of course, multiples aren't necessarily bad.

Jessica said...

can i have the kierkegaard? that & any other existentialism? pleeaaassee.

Blues said...

This is the worrying thing about accumulating high brow philosophy texts, some dipshit that comes over might actually expect you to be able to talk about it. Unless it's Simulacrum and Simulation, and then the only thing people can think to say is 'Isn't that that book in Matrix? Cool.'