Friday, April 1, 2011

Hielten sich für Captain Kirk

Day 8: a song that you know all the words to

December 30, 2010. I walk up to a DJ at a bar. "Hey. Can I ask you a question?"

He looks down, raises his eyebrows. Slides the bridge of his shades down his nose and back up again. "Bitch, if you ask me to play Chumbawumba or Baha Men you can just go sit yo' ass back down."

Joey Lawrence whoa. I just start laughing. "Dude. Turn down your shitty Soulja Boy/UB40 remix. No one's dancing and I want to have a conversation with my friends." I walk back to my booth, cackling. "Dick."

I sit down at the table and scoff the story back to my friends. "It's just horseshit. Do I look like the type of person who listens to goddamn Chumbawumba?"

"Well, when you get knocked down you do get back up again," Sean says.

I narrow my eyes at him. "Sean. I expect better from you."

He giggles and shrugs. "Well, you're wearing a shirt from 1997. That guy reads people like you read the liner notes for Tubthumping."


"Wait. Is your shirt really from 1997?" Meatball pipes in.

"I can't keep track of these things. But do I dress the same way I did in high school? Yes. Basically. Still, I mean come on. I never listened to Chumbawumba."

"Yes you did," MoLinder inserts herself. "You know all the words! I've heard you sing it in the bathroom. You know you cruised to Tubthumping in high school. Don't lie."

"That was when I was drunk by myself, ass," I glare at MoLinder. "Besides, that was hilarious. I kept myself entertained for hours."

There's a pause, and Meatball bites. "What were you--"

"Pissing.  The night away."

"HA!" Sean freaks out. "You do know all the words. That DJ was right about you. Don't fight it. It's a song that reminds you of the good times."

"It's a song that reminds me of the better times."

And the sing-a-long began.

That's basically just a story that I wanted to tell. I really don't want to subject anyone to "Tubthumping." I know the words to a shitload of songs. I know all the words to basically all of the songs I know. I can hear a song once, twice, and repeat it back to you if I'm actually listening to it.

So I sang this at a wedding once.

Honestly, I used to know all the words, aber Deutscher ist schwierig so I basically just make up words that sound like the lyrics and no one can tell the difference because I am amazing. Once I sang it for ze Germans. They thought it was funny.



daisyfae said...

99 luftballoonz always makes me want to starch my hair and dig out my bass guitar...

and damn, woman. if we can get nursemyra to NYC this summer, i'm a gonna fly us to chicago so we can get really, really drunk with you...

Kono said...

In 1997 you were in high school? damn that makes me feel old. That was the year i was trying to survive due to the fact i was 27 and dabbling in to many powders... and i'll on do my Nena dance while you sing if you want. and i can't stand Tubthumping, it makes me want to punch people.

Chamuca said...

So weird. Tubthumping always reminds me of driving alone for the first time after I got my license. The Savagegarden song "I Want You" (Chic-a-Cherry-Cola) does the same thing.

I also know all of the words to both of those songs. And I'm somewhat ashamed of that.

Ellie said...

I love Captain Kirk.

nursemyra said...

Ok daisyfae, you're on. I'd do anything to hear Rassles sing that song

Cat said...

When I was a kid, I wanted to marry Captain Kirk. I still do, but only as he was then, and in his lovely uniform that shows the outline of his respectable vest underneath. Love is fickle.

Logical Libby said...

This was the first "30 days" post that I have ever read that made me snort wine through my nose.

It hurt so good. Do you know that song?

renalfailure said...

Roommate #3 in college had a little white cartoon sheep that ran around on his computer screen. We named him Chumbawumba. Everyone loved him.