Wednesday, May 25, 2011

Drink a toast to never

I stopped feeling sorry for myself in public because I never got anyone to sympathize with me - oh, look at that independent, self-sufficient white girl from an upper/middle class family who has a job, a home, and a loving family, fucking boo waaah hoooooo, I sor you sad, have 10 cookies shaped liked stars cz u r 1 LOLZ!!!!

* * * * * * * * * *

Right?  Why don't I get that?  It's all, "shut the fuck up and stop feeling sorry for yourself."

day 22 - a song that you listen to when you’re sad

That's legit, though.  You know what's better than dealing with your issues? Not realizing you have them in the first place.  Issues cripple your psyche.  I didn't even know I had issues until someone told me I had issues, and then all of a sudden it was like, "I have issues?  Where are they?"  And then I found them, like a pile of bones at the foot of the stairs.  When you throw 'em down one bone at a time they don't seem like much, but bones don't go away.  They just accumulate.

Sorting through them is a solitary activity, and "After Hours" is my soundtrack.  Lou, Lou, did you know? I never realized I could identify with something so much and feel so isolated because of it.



Kono said...

Isolated has become my way of life, fuck issues, i like drugs better.

Rassles said...

I choose angsty blogging.

M. said...

I sort all of your blogs in one sitting every few days. I can't not read you. No matter who else's blog I stop reading, yours I read.

But I change and mangle mine because I want to write about different things and I can never imagine, not for a little, that anyone is going to understand what I mean. That they're going to judge me because, of course, of very similar reasons that those you wrote. I'm hispanic but considered white. My family has traveled their life, etc....I've had a happy childhood and everything. People are gonna tell me not to feel sorry for me.

I always say, just because children are starving, doesnot mean you're not allowed to say you're hungry.

Because it's all within context, you see.

So when I saw your comment it embarrassed me, thinking that you reading me meant you were judging me.

Then I probably have judged me already. You've read me for years. I read this entry, after reading your comment and I remembered why, a long time ago...I wished we would've actually been friends...'stead of blog readers.

Then again, that friendship would've benefit me more than you.

Rassles said...

Mae, you lovely, lovely thing: of course I judge you. I judge everybody. It's what I do. I observe and I interpret and I pass judgment. But it's just a decision, you know. And I decide that I like you, because you are poetic and free, and I wish I had that in me. So when you go saying things like my comment embarrassed you, know that it embarrassed me to write it because I was afraid it wasn't sufficient. And then? Whatever, we're TOTALLY friends.

Sid said...

Haven't read this. YET. But I just wanted to say that for me this song would be, "Bad day" by Fuel.