Wednesday, May 4, 2011

Raping the Women and Wasting the Men

I am interrupting my memetic programing to tell you this:  the song categories for this meme were created by assholes.  

Because of this, the original days 16 and 17, "a song that you used to love but now hate" and "a song that you hear often on the radio" will be eliminated and new categories created.

So I bring you days 16 and 17, Two Songs I Dominate While Driving. 

Why would I want to show people music that sucks?  And I don't listen to the radio.  Too many commercials.  And I don't have an iPod, so there better not be any iPod categories in the near future. 

I am not a big fan of Bright Eyes (Conor Oberst's other band, which you prolly already knew but I'm saying it anyway because I had no idea who Oberst was when I first heard this song because Bright Eyes sucks) and the Desaparecidos had this brilliantly horrible hollerin' garage-feedback shitty anthem rock thing going on, like Black Flag covering Springsteen.  

Once someone made me a CD with this song on it - Muffy, of course, because I get all of my music from Muffy, Xtine, and my dad - and it makes me wish I'd just gotten away with robbing a bank.

And this next song, well.

Don't even pretend you don't like it.  DON'T EVEN.

When I was a very mediocre keys player/back up singer for a band that really, really could have been big had the members stuck with music instead of taking a "hiatus" to get an "MBA" or go to "law school" so they could get "real jobs" and stop working at "restaurants" and "UPS," we did a cover of this for a battle of the bands and we goddamn killed it.  We practiced constantly.  Fucking constantly.  We were determined to play it in under 3:30 while keeping faithful - which is like running the Kentucky Derby, by the way - and BY FUCKY WE DID.  Thank god.  Every day we'd practice, get hammered, and close with a sweaty, screamy sloppy Iron Maiden cover, and eventually we decided to just do it for real, and we tightened it and cranked it up.  I'm going to see if I can find a recording of it, because we were awesome.

We were competing against all these heavy metal bands that hated us since we sounded like a cross between Queen and Os Mutantes and a marching band, because Xtine is a hipster who plays the theremin listens to things like 1960's Brazilian psychedelic rock, plus we had about nine people on stage.  And a violin.  So these guys, over the course of several nights, all Danzig-ed out and heckling and jerking themselves into a Faygo frenzy had to shut their yaps when we speed-metaled the hell out of them. Their shitty bands couldn't do that. I wanted to cover "Ace of Spades" too, just so we could show those fuckers what's what (and because I would have gotten to sing that, not Xtine) but no one else was on board.



Anonymous said...

I've sung Run to the Hills on Rock Band and at karaoke. And I rocked every face in attendance.

Anonymous said...

Uh oh.... now I feel like a nana for liking Bright Eyes

Anonymous said...

I love Run to the Hills!

Oh and I gave you a blog award. Yup. I did!

Because I love your blog I chose to do this. Hope you don't think I'm spamming you or anything. :)

Anonymous said...

Also, my cat's name was Bright Eyes.