I am one of those people who is always late. Always. Without exception.
Rarely do I blame anyone other than myself for this. I know I am late. I know it’s bad. For the sake of perspective, chronic lateness is a bigger problem than chronic, say, ugliness.
Being ugly doesn't hurt, it doesn't ruin lunches or get you fired (technically). People do not assume ugliness is a sign of disrespect. Ugly surgeons still save lives. They still meet deadlines, they are Eagle-Scout prepared for shit, they don't get charged ugly fees on their cell phone bills.
As first-world Americans we don't really like ugly people, so we have all these ways to repair physical appearance. And when an ugly person refuses to see their looks as a burden, we freak out. "No!" we say. "You cannot be ugly! Give us this money and hide behind these products because we do not want to look at you. Also, do not use the word 'ugly.' It will give you low self-esteem. Here, conceal your natural face behind this. Now you can feel good about yourself! Your face isn't offensive anymore!"
We keep inventing ways to fix a problem that really is not a fucking problem at all, and in doing so we are perpetuating the problem. 'Beautiful' is feeling good and comfortable about your appearance, even if your face looks like goblin feet.
But lateness...holy shit. Lateness is a legitimate problem with legitimate consequences. It's an unforgivable offense, it is a conscious action. It is the theft of time.
We do not coddle the late-comers, because they don't deserve shit. In our society that functions almost solely on time and immediacy, fucking latecomers are assholes. We demand an explanation. How can you be late? There is a schedule!
But everything is scheduled down to detailed insanity.
Our lives are so unnaturally over-scheduled that we have to set
arbitrary time aside to eat, sleep, and exercise, and those should be
the three most important things we do to survive and be healthy.
Why is it that when someone's life is scatterfucked in such away that those three things become an encumbrance instead of a necessity we assume it's because they are lazy or disrespectful or trying to exert control over others? Instead of helping people learn how to overcome lateness, we say, "You are bad at schedules. Schedule more things! More bad schedules will make you punctual."
Who fucking does this? What kind of problem-solving logic are you using?
Why do we try to solve ugly and berate late, when late is actually a problem that requires a solution in this day and age?
Now, one of the reasons this is frustrating to me is because I cannot solve my lateness. This is partly because the passage of time never feels linear and so it doesn't make sense and it fuddles my brain. I can accurately gauge distance and direction, always, but time? Shit.
I don't know what to do. I have been googling for a week, and it's all, "Decide you will be on time. Leave earlier. Recognize the fact that you are disrespectful and everyone hates you. Take their feelings into account. You cannot please everyone. Stop trying to control everyone else's life. You are rude and people don't like being around you. You choose to be late to everything all the time always. Why do you hate yourself? Calm the fuck down. Stop being self-centered."
Advice, I think, is the root of all evil.
So...do you have any?