Thursday, February 23, 2012

Lent Starts Right After This Post

I've written about four posts since the last one and all of them are going in the garbage. They're all one-dimensional disjointed bitchy diary entries about things that piss me off including but not limited to:

1.  Pinterest (um, because it looks like a gathering of the Tumblrs but it feels like a Good Housekeeping circle jerk)

2.  Yelp (the most obnoxious website ever created)

3.  Why do all of these people assume I like ugly sweater parties, when in reality I find them slightly boring and offensive?  It's all, "I bet Rassles loves these parties because they are so sarcastic! Let's put pictures of argyle cupcakes on Pinterest!"

3.  Waiting in line is for posers

4.  Pottermore (omg waiting in line sucks)

5.  I tried watching Vampire Diaries because people were getting mad at me for not watching it and I haven't found a new suitable show for addiction (until Game of Thrones, snatches) and believe me: it is terrible.  I am done. 

6. Two people at work today have given me compliments and I'm afraid I did something wrong or something.

7.  For Lent, which I don't really believe in religiously but I do psychologically - scheduling a certain block of time to specifically alter your perception on shit is an awesome idea, especially for people who don't have a lot of self-control.  I don't really like the idea of giving up things like sugar or beer, mostly because those are luxuries.  So I do this for me, not really for Jesus.  I'm devoted to things like "agnosticism" and "not making religious decisions" (the devil owns the fence!).

Whatever, so I've decided to give up hating on things. This has worked in the past.  I gave up drunk crying one year (and I housed that, haven't done it since), I gave up fighting once, which lasted several years.  I gave up caring about money last year and even though it didn't bring me riches, I'm financially safe and I'm doing things that I've been putting off which is awesome.  So I'm excited about this.  No more hating on shit. Obviously, I can have a negative opinion about something, but no dwelling, no diatribes, no rampages about bullshit fueled by passionate disgust.This will be good.

8.  There are still parts of Catholicism that I practice just because I feel like they're good fucking ideas, like Lent.  Confession, although not for forgiveness from God, but from myself. Actually I used to make sure I did that every couple of months and I haven't in about six years. It was easier when I lived with my parents. Okay, also for Lent: I am giving up not confessing.

 9.  Um, that's it.  I was going to find some clever way to conclude this but I don't feel like it, and instead of getting angry at myself for being less that brilliant I'm just going to post it.



Anonymous said...

I didn't know ugly sweater parties existed

Kono said...

Nurse- they exist among a certain set here in H'america, i know some people who've been having them for years, and i second every thing that Razz has said about them, it's the dull and boring belieivng they are clever while they sit around and discuss the Fountainhead and all it's deep and meaningful ideas, i mean really? fuck that, i'd rather sit at home in my sweat stained undershirt, you know the one with the cigarette burns in it and jerk off to soft core porn on cable.

savvy said...

thanks for not liking pinterest.

daisyfae said...

i like the 'give up drunk crying'. i might try it... but for me? it's 'drunk puking'. i really hate that, and i have a pattern of getting wickedwasted on liquor and hoarking up partially chewed chicken salad.

fortunately, i have some rather devoted close friends. but i'm thinking this is going to wear off when they get into their 60's...

Diary of Why said...

Things of which I will probably never understand the allure:

1. Twitter
2. Instagram
3. Pinterest
4. Anything vampire-related
5. Harry Potter

Sid said...

sweater parties??? I don't understand. what someone throws a party and all the guests have to wear a jersey (sweater)? huh?

tysdaddy said...

My daughter is a Potter nerd, so she's been on Pottermore since day one. She's got pull, if you want her to yank on your behalf . . .


Logical Libby said...

I do NOT get Pinterest. It's like Internet scrapbooking. Oh, and ugly sweater parties jumped the shark a long time ago.

Rassles said...

Nurse: they do, and they are an ancient tradition dating back to my high school days, and I've never found them amusing. I understand the point of things like "Christmas Sweater Parties" but tacking the "ugly" onto it is frustrating.

Kono: It's also somewhat like, "Oh my god, that sweater is perfect! It's so ugly!" and I'm like, "I love this sweater and I think it's beautiful."

Savvy: You are welcome.

Daisy: Holy yuckamole.


Sid: People wear knit sweaters with "ugly" patterns, and it looks like a sea of Cosbys. For some reason it's supposed to be funny. It's not.

TS: OH MY GOD, I wish it worked like that. Damn beta.

Libby: Ugly sweater parties were never as cool as Fonzie.