This morning I was browsing through lists on Cracked when I landed on this one, and like fucking clockwork "Lux Aeterna" sneaks onto my Pandora and ten seconds later I read on FB that MCA is dead, and a little bit of my heart fell off.
Aside from being a sexy, sexy man, MCA was easily the stoickest, assholest, most sensitive Beastie Boy, a role I think he shrugged into by default because he had the manliest voice of the three. And really, calling someone the "stoickest Beastie Boy" really doesn't mean stoic at all. Ad-Rock is an adorable little jackal-man who steals pies off of windowsills, Mike D has Mojave-dry sarcasm and a dark horse sharpness, but MCA is--was--an upright bass wearing fluffy slippers, aviators, and haughty reluctance.
He doesn't--didn't--want to be that guy because of all the Buddhism, but he is totally that guy. He's the guy who gets impatient when people don't understand that "the difference between an emcee and a rapper is like the difference between a barista and some jackass making coffee" or blah blah MCA interview I saw on youtube once. Because lesser rappers reuse Beastie Boys lyrics like Hollywood does screams (re: I'll steal your honey like I stole your bike), so it's no wonder he gets all gassy and hornblowy about it.
He's the guy who was an asshole of a teenager and grew up to be
thoughtful and aware of his past, and not only owned up to it but
apologized for it with utmost sincerity. He fought for justice and what he believed and he did it with EVERTYHING.
And then some fuckhead was all, "it's time to get ill, here's cancer" and he was like, "FREE TIBET" in that voice--like smoke over cool mountaintops--once, I think I called it a rich, virile purl--and then he saved a puppy from drowning and dropped mad beats. I'll bet he was a mean drunk and he didn't want to be, I'll bet he was tender and sincere behind closed doors, I'll bet he secretly wished he was a cowboy--or a samurai--I'll bet he was an encyclopedia of movie knowledge, I'll bet he knew a lot about astronomy but never told anyone, I'll bet his power animal was an antelope and I'll bet he was fucking stellar at Yahtzee and I'll bet he was a regular cut-up, but he's cooler about it than the other boys.
Oh, this makes me so sad. My thoughts are all up in a fuckjumble.
EDIT: omg, this makes no sense, and I didn't even talk about how hilarious he is. As if I know him. This celebrity death is really affecting me.