Wednesday, September 5, 2012

Energize

So the amazing Jessica started this website called What Song is in That Commercial? and I'm totally writing for them, which is rad.  Thank you, Jessica. From the depths of my soul.

If you cannot guess what the website is about by reading the title of it, get the fuck off my blog.  What are you even doing here?  Were you googling pictures of toy dinosaurs? Probably, right.

This is a real life writing gig, with a wee bit of money and everything.  How do I even begin to describe how fulfilling that is?  It's energizing.

I'm three posts deep, but there will be more, oh fucking yes, there will be more.  So I'm doing some self-promotion here, which is in all honesty a very new thing for me. But I'm trying to be better at it.  I'm trying to get more decisive and confident in my writing, because you know why?  I'm fucking good at it. I'm really, really good.

Check out my shit.

Xfinity Song

Sunkist Song

Stella Song

Send in requests to the site, even.  We will answer them.

This is way better than when I wrote reviews for Ask and Ye Shall Receive, which, to be honest, was totally emotionally draining and basically the worst.  I was a strong supporter of AAYSR and half the things it stood for.  I made a lot of friends there and I loved having the freedom to be completely honest and crank things up to eleven, but I just didn't have the punch to keep it going. 

It really harshed on my confidence, because let's face it: when I took over that website, all of the readers left, and I just didn't have the time and energy to properly promote things, check back on reviewees, find committed reviewers, and generally be an adult that actually cares about things.  I was a poor substitute for Love Bites.

It doesn't really help that that blogs are fucking dead. Deader than dogshit.  Everyone faded away, but I'm still here, because I cannot stop writing.  I have nothing else.  I've never had anything, or anyone, close enough in real life to provide the outlet this blog gives me.

But AAYSR taught me things, like (1) being a critic sucks ass, (2) there are soooooo many terrible writers out there, and (3) most people who consider themselves writers are completely full of shit. 

Sometimes I'm full of shit, of course.  But what do I do when that happens?  I chug a pot of coffee, grab a sexy book, and go sit on the toilet for half an hour.  Maybe not a sexy book, not like 50 Shades of Sexy Time or whatever its called, it's more of a writing style.  Like Hemingway, but way trashier than Hemingway. Like Joe Abercrombie, who just beautifully, haughtily murders everything in his path and it's glorious.

Whatevs.

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22 comments:

Anonymous said...

I actually found your blog through Ask And Ye Shall Receive. I spent July/August two summers ago reading that blog instead of working on my thesis. Sometimes I go back, trying to find some blogs I discovered through those reviews and then lost track of.

so Ask died because you quit running it?

Gyna said...

You are an amazing writer.
Also! Skype date soon???

Rassles said...

Yo, Anon. And yea, pretty much.

Finding reviewers was next to impossible. No one wanted to commit to writing, so it was a bunch of my friends doing favors for me if they had the time.

I was working about 60 hours a week and barely had time to do it. It turned into one review a week, if we were lucky. Each review takes, at the bare minimum, about two hours of reading - sometimes upwards of four or five hours.

We were unpaid. I got anonymous hate emails in the beginning, but that died quick. People started pulling their blogs from the internet after we reviewed them, which I felt absolutely terrible about even though I shouldn't. Running that blog was constant resuscitation.

And I could have persevered, I guess, I could have just stuck with one a week, where the majority of the comments were me commenting to myself as two fucking people just to start a dialogue, which never took off. There was something sad about tearing into people's lives alone. I felt like I was talking shit for he sake of talking shit, instead of trying to find new writers to admire.

Rassles said...

Also, Anon: Thanks for sticking around!

Gyna: WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN ALL MY LIFE

Anonymous said...

Well, I stopped reading Ask exactly two years ago (so I could do other things. Ask had proven to be addictive) and I didn't witness the demise, but if things were as sad as you now describe, I can understand why you quit.

About people shutting down their blogs: oh man, I remember thinking that the worst prank one could play on a blogger would be to submit their blog for review over at Ask. (There was no way for you to check if submissions were for real, was there?) You guys were mean. But lots of fun. And, let's say it, fair. It was good while it lasted.

daisyfae said...

Black Keyes got their break doing commercials (technically, they just licensed a few songs).

Blogs are dead. Yes. Except the really shitty ones, it seems. Anyone who claims to be a writer, who is just doing a blog to practice? Give it up already... For the love of DOG stop commenting on my blog so i don't feel obligated to visit and make nice, ok?

yeah. i write when i have to. when i write because i feel like i should? it blows...

congrats on the paid gig. you're good, and make things better out here!

formerlyfun said...

Ask was dead before you tried to breathe new life in to babe, but we had some fun didn't we. Most of my computer pen pal equivalents came from Ask. I got to push my penchant for alliteration, you got to use your witty culture references in a place where a lot of people knew what you were talking about without googling. We had beautiful blue women from Spain, pirate hookers, raccoons, LoveBites, BB and fucking nut jobber, and all of the rest. I knew who almost everyone was but there were still a few I didn't. That MissMissives though, she was a giant bitch.

formerly fun said...

And holy christ your word ver is fuckin hard, it took me like 13 tries.

Rassles said...

Anon, usually I made sure the email from the request form matched the blog, or I contacted people before we reviewed them just to make sure it was legit. And for a long time there, hell yeah. It was definitely fun.

Daisy, ARE YOU SAYING MY BLOG IS SHITTY BECAUSE IT STILL EXISTS I HATE YOU

FF, I know, worst reviewer ever. Remember how fucking tight we all were?

Anonymous said...

Rassles, if I could spam you with just one more question. So, all those reviewers had blogs of their own, I take it? And if so, where might those be found? I went back to Ask today and reread some of Forcemeat's reviews. If I was rich, I'd announce a reward for whoever finds me his blog or his writing in any other form (I'm not picky when it comes to Forcemeat).

In case this is the internet's best kept secret and you'd rather not publicize it, would you, like, whisper it into my ear [write it in an email]?

Kono said...

Congrats on the paid gig, seems like someone i know other than that chick who wrote Juno and showed her tits alot parlayed this gig into something better... and you of course did it with dignity and style...

i like how blogs is dead, as Morrissey said, Smiths is dead but i still listen to them, i'll keep going and let the universe ignore my site cuz i don't fucking care, the fact i have nearly no readers now means it's gonna get even more fucked up, that is of course when i'm not fucked up, gotta quit writing it high on pills, half the time i forgot i even posted something but enough of my rambling... high five, fist bump and all that shit, good work girl.

Rassles said...

Anon, well...sure. Just because I love shocking people with our brilliance.

Click here.

We separated the personal from AYSR basically to save ourselves from the haters, but I feel like if I ever started up again then I would do it as myself. Maybe.

Anonymous said...

Rassles, are you kidding me?? I know and love Sack Posset, oh yes I do! You're telling me THAT was Forcemeat?? "He" had me fooled. On one hand, it makes perfect sense. On the other hand, I regret a little that I asked. How am I supposed to place my dear old Forcemeat now?...I might go through a small crisis of the Santa Claus variety.

Yes yes, I can definitely understand separating Ask from personal. And I don't mean to be patronizing, but don't underestimate the value of that kind of dissociation in the future. Anyway, you don't need reminding that, so.. Well, thanks for everything. I'll be retreating back into lurkdom now.

Sack Posset said...

Gosh. It would appear I've been outed! Forcemeat sends his love, Anon. Fanny wanted to send you a pair of kippers, but it turned out that they weren't kippers at all.

Here In Franklin said...

Hurray for you, Rass--excellent news. And you certainly didn't kill AAYSR. Those reviews were hard. I remember trying so hard to be snarky and constructive and shitty and nice all at the same time. It was not a good style for me.FF named off some of my favorites, but what I really wonder is whatever happened to Mongolian Girl...if anybody out there knows, email me please.

My own blog is on life support, and I'm down to only four that I read regularly--you, DF, Daily Smoke and Unbearable--all found through AA...

Mr London Street said...

I wish you'd start AAYSR again, I enjoyed it. I would have helped out if it wasn't for your rule that you had to have been reviewed to be a reviewer. Some of them were truly brilliant pieces of writing in their own right. I think if anything it would have had more strength if the reviewers hadn't been anonymous.

Congratulations on the paying gig. Those are pretty few and far between.

Anonymous said...

Oh, that's very sweet of Fanny:) So Forcemeat intercepted the non-kippers? Now I'll never know what they were. But I'd love to send Fanny an ikebana arrangement of Venus flytraps of my own breeding, unless she's more of a terrarium person, in which case an air medusa in a pickle jar might be more to her liking.

tysdaddy said...

About time you gets paid for writing. You do it well. As for blogging? I am wondering why we do it anymore. Had a similar conversation with another friend this morning. I just don't get the way things are going. It's about making money, being a brand, or just being yourself and wasting away. Not sure where to go from here . . .

Thanatos said...

Awesome, congrats! Your blog is the only one on my reader that's churning out original writing.

Ask was dead before you took over. And it was sapping, unrewarding work. We got referrals from crappy blogs, and people would submit without knowing what the reviews were about. Everyone expected a fucking gold star.

That said, happy to find out who Forcemeat is/was.

renalfailure said...

I enjoyed Abercrombie's First Law Trilogy and Best Served Cold. Haven't picked up The Heroes yet, but I haven't much time for anything these days.

Love Bites said...

I miss the good old days of Ask. Those days were pretty fun.

I don't think the people who read those reviews, for the most part, ever understood how soul-killing it was to read one crappy blog after another.

Yours was a high point. And no, you didn't kill Ask. it is hard to get people to read shit and write about it.

Jessica said...

Thank you so much for this post. Can't believe it's been this long since I checked my Google Reader. Sheesh.