Wednesday, June 3, 2015

A Love Letter to Blurt

Dear blurt,

A quick one before we begin: I AM DETERMINED TO FINISH THIS. The 52 love letters, that is. For me. I have to finish this for me.

Maybe it's not necessarily pervasive, but conversational subtlety is generally a lost art, and because of this I have no way to gauge my skills in the matter. Even though there's a sneaky comfort in conversational code-breaking, it's stressful just to think about it. When the words someone chooses to use have as much weight as the words omitted, it forces us to think about things. Motivation.

Not to sound too theater-y, especially since I am far from a theater person, but motivation is the key to everything.

Motivation is not an excuse. It's a reason. It establishes causality without begging, and excuses are all about begging - begging for belief, forgiveness, or empathy or whatever. Excuses shirk responsibility, reasons establish it. I mean, your motives can be pure that the result can be disastrous, but that's not an excuse. It's a reason.

So the reason for impulsive blurting instead of prudence is either (a) ADD/ADHD, which is a whole other hulking thought process that I am not going to touch with any part of me, or (b) to mitigate discomfort. People don't blurt things out because they're calm and collected, they blurt to relieve pressure, and like zit-popping or itching mosquito bites, the results can be super fucking ugly and uncomfortable.

Still. There's a reason.

Sometimes it's simple: blurting could happen to lessen the stress of keeping a secret or to interrupt a stretch of silence or to assert your relevance when you feel dismissed. It's about excitement and impatience, it's rash and reactive. It's a compulsion, a betrayal, an admission, a scramble, a flood. It hinders and helps. Blurting is selfish and shortsighted and only serves the intentions of a very few for a short while, because blurting never sees the big picture. Blurting is the honest truth or the fattest lie - rarely is blurting tiny and inconsequential.

From Arrested Westeros
It is not thoughtful, unless you're a manipulator and you're blurting on purpose, in which case...damn. That's some evil, Littlefinger shit. Then again, a thoughtful blurt is probably more accurately described as an interruption. See, you guys, conversation is hard.

I guess I just usually prefer a well-honored blurt instead of a deliberate response. No, that's not right. I don't prefer the blurt. It's just much more fun. Just say it. Say it and let it linger.

Then again, why is it fun? Does this mean I find glee in the discomfort of others, having established that a well-wrought blurt stems from there?

No. I find glee in the relief. I'm glad that you were able to blurt, because it feels good. It might not be the best thing to do in the long run, but hey, no one is perfect.

Blurting reassures me. People are human, and humans can sometimes be selfish. We err, we lose control, we say things without thinking. And that's okay. It's the action of blurting, not the words that are used. I love the reason.

I love talking to people that just blurt shit out. Stupid nonsense or brilliant insight, I really don't care. And of course, definitely, I also love conversations where people who think about their words, people who speak with heft. But I have a soft spot for those folks that just have to get it out. Words with reckless urgency, artless and regardless. Sometimes it's just more fucking interesting.

Oh, PS: I also love this:

A Belfast Slang Word For A Wee Girls Vagina!
I booted her in the blurt

1 comment:

daisyfae said...

i live in fear of the blurt. it scares me when i start to do it (alcohol can often be a factor, as can nervousness, awkwardness or excitement).

this is odd because i ENJOY it when i hear someone in full-on blurt mode! especially if it's 'excitement blurt' rather than 'awkwardness blurt'.

i should give myself over to the occasional blurt. such a grand word!